I Broke Free
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What happened to the man I loved? Why did he lose himself?
The strong hold his demons had over him was tearing us apart
Dilated pupils, slurred words, stupid grin worn when drinking,
a fool who staggers on his way until he's behind a closed door
I'll let it be for now, but putting up with it is becoming a chore
Mom died and I'd flown home to take care of all that mattered
Two hours at the airport before he arrived. At least he was alive
I asked for the keys; he gave me that sly grin with a blank stare
I let it be. Can't reason with a drunk who's leaning on the car door
He reaked of peppermint schnapps. Beneath my breath I swore
I drove home from work and found the usual 'hidden' tell-tale signs
top shelf of the pantry, another box in the shower, half eaten pizzas
He was clueless that the scent of pepperoni gave his addiction away
Not up for a confrontation so I didn't knock upon his fortress door
I had to let it be because I heard him snoring, passed out on the floor
What excuses he invented when it was time for him to go to work
"My allergies are acting up," with Kleenex up both sides of his nose
Or this, "My hair is not cooperating today so just go on without me"
When I got home I was alone. He, behind the damned locked door
I'd let him be, but I longed for the life that once held so much more
I found empty vodka bottles he thought hidden in places I'd not find
blueberry, peach, or tasty flavor of the week, under dresser drawers
He refused my begging pleas to get the help he needed, so I let it be
It's true; living with someone who keeps himself shut behind a door
is lonelier that living alone. I loved him, but I was better off before.
Before he started drinking we were happy; quite a contented couple
But that changed when he abused me with angry words and actions
There was no satisfaction in walking away from the man I still loved
I couldn't say "let it be." I wouldn't watch another inebriated encore
I said goodbye, trying not to cry. Tears fell when I closed the door
Copyright © Lin Lane | Year Posted 2017