Greatest Story Ever Told

Who would lay claim to know, The greatest story ever told, Perhaps Homer Simpson Doh! For none else is so bold. It would take a mere simpleton, With the mind of Crusty Clown, Best he’d come up with, The sky’s falling down. Let’s not judge him too hard, After all he’s a mere cartoon, I’ll tell the story myself, The world will hear very soon. Bet this’ll pique some interest, Even raise pointed ears, For what I’m about to impart, Will unleash your inner fears. This world is going to explode, I’m afraid the end is nigh, No other way to say it, Earth will be blown sky high I’ve contrived a great weapon, Called “The Doomsday Device”, Just one more button to set, Your all gonna pay the price. Guessing I’m some crackpot, Not a genius or child prodigy, Everyone will die nonetheless, For nobody’s getting off free. By the way, Hi I’m Stewie I live on spooner street, Now I’ve set the timer, Here’s an hour as my little treat. For I’m not the son of man, But kid of a family guy, Why I lay waste to this world, Lois my mum hid my favorite toy. By David Kavanagh