God, Can I Still Be

Dear God, It's been a long time since I spoke of your name. I learned your Word but still treated lyfe like a game. But yet, by my side you remained... reality hit me and I didn't know how to talk to you. I got on my knee's but couldn't pull my hands together. I went to church but was shame to go into your temple. I sleep with the Good Book by my pillow but quit opening to read The pastor say, "all you have to do is open your heart and speak." But I don't feel my words are worth listening to. So I decided to do what I have been blessed with a gift to do. That's to write a letter to you. But where do I begin. I have done every crime worst then sin. Shame your name even dishonored mines. Your Word say, you forgive those who ask. But i feel my chances are gone. Even though my guardian angel said I'm your choicen one. That a special gift is in me and that one day I'll see it. After every wrong I've done... God, can I still be?