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DREAM ON A GATE

Opening the gate onto my future 
My heart pounds in anticipation
Leaving behind my haunting past
A full moon promises new horizons 

My heart pounds in anticipation
Your face came to me in dreams
A full moon promises new horizons 
Our passions know no limit

Your face came to me in dreams
My suitcase stands at the door
Our passions know no limit
A whiskey bottle lies empty on the floor

My suitcase stands at the door
The clothes I brought, too drab
A whiskey bottle lies empty on the floor
Everything too loud and cloy

The clothes I brought, too drab
The new negligée in red and black 
Everything too loud and cloy
Lying crumbled on the floor

The new negligée in red and black 
As if torn from my very soul
Lying crumbled on the floor
My spirit never broken

As if torn from my very soul
Leaving behind my haunting past
My spirit never broken
Opening the gate onto my future




Sponsor	Debbie Guzzi
Contest Name	Dream On  [Inspired by the 3rd picture in contest rules]

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013




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Date: 8/6/2013 4:43:00 AM
For an example of a top notch Pantoum, please read the poem by Donald Justice, Pantoum of the Great Depression, at the following link: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/books/features/19980920.htm
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Date: 8/5/2013 8:13:00 PM
Congratulations on a good write and win. Love, Joyce
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/6/2013 4:16:00 AM
Thank you, Joyce :-)
Date: 8/5/2013 6:37:00 PM
Glad to see you bring your own experience into the same frame as the art, I would have loved some periods. The capitalization does not indicate the beginning of the thought, so why use it?Congrad's on your win. Light & Love
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/6/2013 4:18:00 AM
Lastly, even the example here of the Pantoum, starts each line with a capital letter and NO PUNCTUATION. I was conforming to the traditional format. I hope this explains your query, Debbie. Love, Su
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Suzette Richards
Date: 8/6/2013 12:36:00 AM
Punctuation is not essential as the thoughts are clear and no ambiguity is created by the lack there of. I used the capitalization to honour the old fashioned form of presenting poetry - in line with the photograph which inspired this write. Thank you for the winning place in your contest, Debbie.
Date: 8/3/2013 8:35:00 AM
If I cleared the bottle of whiskey, Would I not see treble? And like John I leave it to the masters!
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Date: 7/22/2013 3:25:00 AM
I am intrigued by this form.... If there is enough whiskey in the world, I might try one some day... For now, I leave pantoums to masters.... Like you.... Jake
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Suzette Richards
Date: 7/22/2013 4:48:00 AM
Yes, seeing double does help.... lol. Thank you for the accolade, Jake. ~ Su
Date: 7/21/2013 9:00:00 AM
- Thank you for your beautiful poem, luck in contest !! - oxox / / Anne-Lise :)
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Suzette Richards
Date: 7/22/2013 4:47:00 AM
Thank you, Anne Lise :-)
Date: 7/21/2013 2:07:00 AM
Debs should really like this one, Suz. I know I do!! Glad you liked that last footle. You were the first to mention liking the last one. Luv, Andrea
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Suzette Richards
Date: 7/21/2013 2:29:00 AM
Thank you, Andrea. I am pleased you liked my Pantoum - this is the first time I have written one. Love, Su