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Dream Date - Perfect Woman - Didactic

            Dream Date – Perfect Woman - Didactic

I like a woman with a pulse
Not too strong though
Competition frightens me
She should come from parents, (maybe two)
Not hatched from an egg
Skin of seasoned leather with cratered face 
If her leg is missing, left or right, that’s ok
As long as she has one to hop away
Crime should always be on her mind
Stealing wallets and purses makes her perfect
I don’t like to work so there must be a career girl lurking
The perfect woman carries her own paper bags
For her face while making love and robbing banks
I want a girl who comes with her own card board box for two
A place that we call home
If she is psychotic that’s fine too
A girl with stinky feet and monster tattoos will do
And takes a butcher knife to bed when day is done
I like adventure


11/21/14 "Didactic Poem" Poetry Contest 

Copyright © | Year Posted 2014




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Date: 11/16/2014 2:08:00 PM
Earl, I've been looking for a man like you! No one else could appreciate these "assets" in a woman. :D Your poem is a hoot! (Though men have suggested I wear a paper bag, I haven't done so yet. I'm waiting for the urge to rob a bank.) And, hey, I have a pulse too! You have a wildly witty sense of humor and that's what I like most in a man. Love, Carolyn
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Earl Schumacker
Date: 11/16/2014 4:37:00 PM
Hi Carolyn, Thank you so much for your kind words. I truly appreciate it. You are too cute! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I loved all of your responses. Take care. Earl
Date: 11/16/2014 8:58:00 AM
And where do you plan to find this woman? lol. You shouldn't have any problems at all at the county jail haha
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Earl Schumacker
Date: 11/16/2014 10:16:00 AM
Good morning Toquyen, I hope everything is good with you. I'm having second thoughts about the perfect woman. Life in a card board box might be fun at first but sooner or later it will fall apart. Maybe you are right. The county jail is a start. Have a great day. Take care. Earl
Date: 11/16/2014 8:00:00 AM
Wow well I do hope you find the 'perfect date' and you will be very happy together in the cardboard box! Hugs jan xxx
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Earl Schumacker
Date: 11/16/2014 8:27:00 AM
Good morning Jan, Thanks! I hope you enjoyed my invention. I forgot to mention; lots and lots of personality. She can go far in life with 4 or more of them. Have a great day. See ya! Earl