Darkness

somewhere in the depths of self pity holds a child tight mind spills her dreams on star-filled nights and reflections of yesterdays echo through mirrored smiles through framed glass i trace her smiles soon realizing child is self i search memories of yesterdays but mind's gate seems closed tight darkened same as rainy nights tears fall sofly like her dreams if once i could fulfill her dreams would my own face reflect smiles? could mind find piece on sleepless nights if answers were released from self? i seem to keep these memories tight that robbed me of my yesterdays not knowing the pain of these yesterdays i've tucked away most old dreams blocks of memory hold them tight under lips bearing mona lisa smiles and child withdraws within self as days blend into nights or dark thoughts blend days and nights in all of these forgotten yesterdays i choose not to pity self just escape in new dreams cracking occassional smiles as loved ones hold me tight yet when my eyes are pressed tight i find myself fearing nights quickly losing one of these smiles to a brief memory of my yesterdays safely tucking away all my dreams deep within troubled self seeking revenge on self with blades pressed tight i try to hide through dreams from nights haunted by yesterdays that robbed this child's smiles