Belle

i want to push you away but i keep thinking of our past and all that could have been. between the late night chats and holding your hand so tight, that i thought id never let go. seems that you wanted to go, so i let that grip slide so easily. as the warmth from your hand grew cold i could feel the ice throughout my veins almost making me heartless and i gave up on you i never asked what went wrong, what i said, what i did, but who said it was my fault.. i was thrown away so simply littered out on an polluted highway. a highway of life, story, death. you came into my life so swiftly completely changed everything from the way that i walked, the way that i talked, even my faith. im starting to lose my curiosity as i earn more knowledge of life people, things, events becoming predictable. i find my heart in old memories, songs, even photographs, always so hopeful. now, i am the shell of such shattered remains i know things will never go back to the way they were when i was happy.. i guess all that i have left are a few friends who are hardly in touch the others are still with you, i often wonder if ill catch them separate. i cant go anywhere without the fear of just seeing you, your eyes. i cant go back i dont think i want to go back not with these thoughts. for the first and the last time, you let me down, so gently. but ill never know why. ill never know.