A Poetic Assault (Slamming R. Emerald)

Shhh....Ok, quiet down, quiet down; let me smash this clown..... Ryan, kneel before your father, or I will pop you like a cyst! Writing this slam I shouldn't bother, you're not even on the "top 50 best poets" list!! You've soupmailed me twice, so since you don't know, a "warlock" is a "male witch!" I'm not here to play nice; what are you , P. D.'s bit#%? I see you left me a comment or two, practically begging me... Who the hell are you for me to read your lame poetry? You need to check the soup news, I don't have a computer, I'm an inmate! So you need to pay your soup dues, then your slams I may educate! Look at your poems title; In "Destroy" you forgot to add the "E.R.!" Is P.D. your idol, or are you just attracted to the bizarre? Talking about my slams are "odd," are you mentally ok? Download some Eminem on your I-pod, and learn some word-play! And you do know a "shamrock" is for good luck, right? Slamming with the Poetic Warlock you need to prepare yourself for a fight! How many rhymes do you have in your vault? Not many?! Watch my poetic summersault, because I've got plenty!! I'm about to slam your butt for days, until you beg for mercy. My stanza's will set you ablaze, so feel my fury! You gave me a 29 line slam with no meter, that should be a sin! Damn, if you're gonna be a cheater, don't you dare pick up a pen!! This is 22 lines, the sixth stanza, now that's what cha call poetry! Oh-my-God, it's a "stanza bonanza," so Ryan are you following me? You're a poet-in-training, but I don't want your ass in my class! These poetic bombs are raining, so don't throw stones if you're made of glass!! I see you ran to Sidneys' rescue; Man, are you "Captain-save-a-hoe?!" I'm gonna lyrically beat you black and blue until a "Souper" yells, "TKO!" That's right, I'm going for the knock-out, straight for the heart. You'll scream and shout, as I poetically tear you apart! Ding Ding!!! This round has come to an end, but you'll not return. So go on and tell a friend, how you failed as P.D.'s intern! *Note: my fellow poets are encouraged to read "Ryan Emeralds" slam "War-locked with a Poet Destroy"...My fellow soupers tell young Ryan don't slam with the champ! Peace and love ...Jimmy Anderson #0459587 ;)