A Letter To Kenzi - Part 1of4

You struggle and you look down upon yourself, But little do you know, you are my hero. You cry and say you are weak sometimes, But I look at you and I see incredible strength. I read your words, hear your voice, As you tell me the story of your life. My eyes tear up, I open my heart, And I let in all your pain and love. You say you can't let your depression beat you, I'm there with you, more power to ya girl. You say your husband is your life and its corny, I'm with ya, I don't know what I'd do without my man. To be honest, I'd probably die. You say you have been abused, hurt, And by anyone's standards you should have lost faith in the world. But you don't, you refuse to give up - and so do I. I wont give up my faith, my hope, my love, just because I've been abused and hurt. You remind me that it is possible to be strong. You fight against the battle of your body's look, . Damn girl, I'm ready to cry, so do I. And every morning I wake up and see my imperfect skin, The chunk of fat I can grab with my hands, I want to peel off my layers as if they were sweaters, Until there is nothing left, just a shadow to step out and disappear into the night. You have dreams so simple and yet entirely romantic, A desire to see the world and even just the next coast. I've always wanted to travel, and touch each piece of the world, Leave a mark on the land like a ghost. You worship your cats, or so they probably think, I can relate, I exist on the same brink of existence to them, And when I feel lonely, they love me no matter what. You love deeply and have compassion for those hurt, Like that Junko girl you mentioned, Her pain shook you to your core, And sometimes I really wonder if there is something else out there, But perhaps if there is its not their place to interfere. I stare in awe at your paints, I wish my hands were that talented, It seems their calling lies in other ways. But I would study you take the time to learn How to make art into a visible image. I read your cycle, it repeats over and over and over and over and over and over and over, And I wonder if my own will never stop. I try to sleep forever, when the days are bad, Or the weeks, or the months, and sometimes years, Because it is easier than facing life. Unless, I have nightmares. I understand the nightmares. I wonder if they will ever stop. You are not alone. You will never be alone.