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Lake, Water and Sun

Lake, Water and Sun

Blue lake stirs the youthful mind,
water shines then invites us on in.
Sunshine covers this rare new find
as delight gives each a big grin-
the youthful mind, invites us on in.

Work done, we have no more chores
sweet time for living life instead.
Sun beams hot upon these shores-
cool waters splashes upon each head-
upon these shores, living life instead

Is this a Nirvana with a bad twist,
rhapsody set to fine angelic tunes;
love leaping through a watery mist?
Will love burn out into the dunes-
with a bad twist...out into the dunes.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2015




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Date: 1/20/2015 7:33:00 AM
Second verse change last line to "Upon these shores, living life instead." If I am reading the rules properly. Fortunately it works well both ways.
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Date: 1/18/2015 2:50:00 PM
Thanks for the kind comments my friends. I wrote this for Craig's new contest and truly enjoyed writing this challenging new form. Check it out if you have no clue. Its explained in the contest rules and I believe on his blog too.
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Date: 1/17/2015 10:36:00 PM
Reminds me of summer vacations, loved this poem!
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Date: 1/14/2015 7:23:00 AM
Seems so ideal, yet the last stanza reminds one that love needs a lot of hard work... this is how i visualize this Robert,,
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Date: 1/13/2015 5:27:00 PM
A very effective write, I like the feel you have created.
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Date: 1/13/2015 6:38:00 AM
This is wonderful! I love the question at the end...will it last?
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Date: 1/13/2015 6:09:00 AM
This is such a lovely quintain, Robert. I can feel the calm and peaceful atmosphere flowing through it. The repeat lines are effective and done with sense...not always an easy task to execute! Well done my friend! #7 // paul
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