Email Poem

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Poem
It’s been a long time since Ive seen you
You used to be there
And now that you are gone I am left here to stare at the
Purple amyethist sky through my elevated window
And flecks of amber dust pass by
carried by the winds rubbing against my face even when I put up my hand to block them
The purple sky is scarred by a bright pink,
And disrupted by a squealing loud harsh orange
The sun is setting
And I am saying goodbye to more than just the sun
I am not staying here
So this is it
I tuck my suitcase into my side to breathe for a moment
What you’ve taken I will work to get back
My lips are to cracked to smile
And my face is streaked with white crusted hard tear stains
They will crumble away
But tear stains don’t ever really leave do they
They are called stains after all
Under the tear stains is that ugly rugged scar
The one with the dried up blood zig zagged across my check
You made your marks on my body
They are everywhere
So that now every time I look into the mirror all I see is you
You and your stone cold gray empty lifeless barren frigid stealthy  parsimonius thin powerful frightening icy eyes
And your thin tight lips held together so tight it was as if they were concealing something
Or if they were keeping pressed closed to hide a secret
Your rugged  prickly ashy face
With the scar on your chin
You had many scars passed down to you,
and now you’ve given them to me
I look back and smile in tears
Tears that rush over the tear stains
Trying to wash them away but instead
It clumps over the old ones
What happened here will never leave me
And as painful as it is 
it has become a large part of me
Sometimes I think I miss you but
It it is just me once again feeling the emotions you’ve built in me
The way I once felt that you were superior
The way I once hated myself
They way I used to think I couldn’t live without you
The way I thought this was normal
I am done here
And I let the curtains sashay to the ground
Brushing the carpet you loved
And sticking against the walls that were once blood stained
I walk out because it is all over
In a way
But I know that I will always remember this
It is engraved and carved into me like the lines in the tree bark
I am stained and this place is stained
Because every time I pass by
I will remember
No amount of washing or covering up can fix this
In a moment I am able to smile and it cracks the tear stains
But it doesn’t shed them off
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