Email Poem

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Personal Note:
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Poem
Strip me...
As you do, 
Youre claiming everything that I am
Youre seeing it all
Not just the physical;
The bruises,
The scars,
The imperfections,
(Even though thats just as hard),
But youre seeing what makes me
Who I am;
Youre stripping away layers of hurt
And pain in many areas;
Youre touching raw spots.
As you do this;
Youre stripping me emotionally;
Im letting you inside
By letting you see my body;
Im saying I want you everywhere;
Inside and out;
I want you to soothe 
The unsoothable parts
Im letting you feel me,
Touch me,
Do whatever you want...
Ive never known that kind of intimacy;
On the inside
Im trembling;
Im so afraid 
Youre going to see something
You dont like, 
Or dont want,
And that terrifies me;
The fact that you could hate something about me
And that could be a reason
To leave me...
I feel so insecure 
And I dont like it at all;
For your sake as much as mine.
I want you so badly, 
I want to let you in, 
Cuz I love you so much,
And youre the only person
I would let do this.
But I freeze up sometimes;
I dont know what to say,
I dont know how to feel;
Im just paralyzed with fear
Of rejection.
I hate that I didnt go all the way for you;
I feel like I don’t give you everything I want to;
And it sucks, like I don’t feel good enough 
And that you almost resent that
Im sorry, Baby for not giving it all
But it takes time I guess...
I dont know;
I want so bad to let you 'strip me'
Maybe next time I wont be so scared;
Its not you Im scared of;
Its me;
Whats going on in my head,
That I cant even explain;
Im scared Im not good enough
For you, 
And for myself...
That sounds messed up, 
And again,
I hate that Im scared,
Scared of putting myself out in the open
Completely like that...
It takes more courage than I have;
Maybe I can get that courage from you...
I want to...
I know I can...
I will...
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