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Funny Quotes | Quotes About Funny

Funny Quotes. These Funny quotes are the best examples of famous Funny quotes on PoetrySoup.

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Quote Left There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. Funny Quote Right
by Mark Twain | ...go to quote |
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Quote Left From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Quote Right
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Quote Left I hate it when people take the things I say and turn them into something sexual. Just because it's funny to them, doesn't mean everyone is going to take it that way. And I don't. Quote Right
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Quote Left Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left We learn from experience that men never learn anything from experience. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left Recession is when a neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose yours. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny...' by Isaac Asimov Quote Right
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Quote Left Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children. Funny Quote Right
by Samuel Butler | ...go to quote |
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Quote Left Oh, the tiger will love you. There is no sincerer love than the love of food. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left Funny how the new things are the old things. Quote Right
by Rudyard Kipling | ...go to quote |
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Quote Left Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. Quote Right
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Quote Left The superfluous, a very necessary thing. Funny Quote Right
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Quote Left If you really look at humor, that's what most of it is anyway. Somebody wisecracking at somebody else. Putting them down. If you look at all the sitcoms, that's all sitcoms are today. Things never change. Sardonic, sarcastic humor is always prevalent. It's hard to do something funny without being that way. It's classier if you didn't have to resort to it, I think. Quote Right
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Quote Left It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. Marriage Quote Right
by Robert Frost | ...go to quote |
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Quote Left A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke. Quote Right
by | ...go to quote |
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Quote Left I have a funny feeling he'll be back. I think he has something to prove. I don't think he wants to end his career like that (with an injury). I have a feeling he's coming back, but that's just me. I could be wrong. Quote Right
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Quote Left It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being drunk and being the father of their son. Quote Right
by Gertrude Stein | ...go to quote |
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Quote Left It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married Quote Right
by Robert Frost | ...go to quote |
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Quote Left It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. Quote Right
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Quote Left The reality is, just like with adult books, a big name makes for an easier booking. Any time you're booking an author for a four-and-a-half to five-minute segment, if you're dealing with someone who's done television or comes with a track record, they are a known quantity. They know they have to have a funny or a touching story. Quote Right
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Quote Left Morning Is Yellow Like A Desk Is Square He always wanted to explain things. But no one cared. So he drew. Sometimes he would draw and it wasn't anything. He wanted to carve it in stone or write it in the sky. He would lie out on the grass and look up in the sky. And it would be only him and the sky and the things inside him that needed saying. And it was after that he drew the picture. It was a beautiful picture. He kept it under his pillow and would let no one see it. And he would look at it every night and think about it. And when it was dark, and his eyes were closed, he could still see it. And it was all of him. And he loved it. When he started school he brought it with him. Not to show anyone, but just to have with him like a friend. It was funny about school. He sat in a square brown desk Like all the other square brown desks And he thought it should be red And his room was a square brown room. Like all the other rooms. And it was tight and close. And stiff. He hated to hold the pencil and chalk, With his arm stiff and his feet flat on the floor. Stiff. With the teacher watching and watching. The teacher came and spoke to him. She told him to wear a tie like all the other boys. He said he didn't like them. And she said it didn't matter. After that they drew. And he drew all yellow and it was the way he felt about morning. And it was beautiful. The teacher came and smiled at him. 'What's this?' she said. 'Why don't you draw something like Ken's drawing? Isn't it beatiful?' After that his mother bought him a tie. And he always drew airplanes and rocket ships like everyone else. And he threw the old picture away. And when he lay alone looking at the sky, It was big and blue and all of everything, But he wasn't anymore. He was square inside. And brown. And his hands were stiff. And he was like everyone else. And the things inside him that needed saying didn't need it anymore. It had stopped pushing. It was crushed. Stiff. Like everything else. Quote Right
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