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Home » High Critique » poetry not my forte

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
2/10/2011 9:44:01 PM

Desidean Rice
Posts: 4
tied tightly to my chair

i sit and wait

losing all my hair

not feeling the hate

just what i was

what i could be

past is all a fuzz

in life i can see

where i should be

overcoming simple obstacles

in time a spectacle

if ever i saw a chance

with doubts of true happiness

i shall never dance

in the life of unfaithfulness

i could

i should

i will

i feel ill

my heart bleeds

for what i can't have

all the dirty deeds

my heart is only half

to understand my feelings

you need to know me

my everyday dealings

have brought me down to one knee

all i need is the healings

the touch

the soft voice

is that to much

should i have that choice

the comfort

the loyalty

of not worrying of what might be

just knowing

just trusting

that someone will is showing

how i can be adjusting

to nothing i have ever known

and realize the pain is real

and that i will deal...
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