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  1. Date: 3/2/2013 4:38:00 PM
    If the steps were literally making a crackling sound, I would say the first one is objective enough. both feel a bit unconventional to me, meaning that they are not totally concrete to me. I like that kind of haiku. I don't think haiku should always have to describe things just tangible but some will argue otherwise. If you think of souls as a synonym for people and not just their inner souls, and if you think luminous as shiny skin, then I think it fits the objective criterion. I like how the second one can have a double meaning!

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    Crous Avatar Suzette Crous Date: 3/2/2013 11:22:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you, Andrea. Yes, I did intend the second one to have a deeper meaning but I did not wish to lead the audience (so to speak). Thank you for bringing it up. It was Basho himself that had said: "A haiku that is 80% clear is good, but a haiku that is only understood 50% at reading the first time, is even better." It seems that I have managed to do this. Love, Su

My Past Blog Posts

 
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My Poems

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Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
5/4/2013A Twisted TreeHaikunature,philosophy,
5/1/2013RUSHVersenature,
4/26/2013TYPEWRITERNarrativenostalgia,
4/20/2013What is in a NameCoupletfamily,,granddaughter,
4/19/2013GrayHaikubeach,
4/18/2013CYCLE OF LIFESuzette Primeintrospection,hope,
4/10/2013The Wedding DressQuatrainurban,wedding,
4/9/2013The Tree of KnowledgeVersephilosophy,religious,tree
4/9/2013WHITE ROSESTankawedding,
4/9/2013TABLE MOUNTAINQuintelladedication,nature,
4/5/2013The HikeHaikunature,
3/31/2013ALBATROSS and PRECIOUS GOLDQuaternallegory,introspection,me
3/28/2013T WoodsLimerickhumorous,satire,
3/24/2013QUANTUM PHYSICSAbecedarianscience,
3/22/2013AFRIKAANS and ENGLISH TANKATankaintrospection,
3/21/2013LEXICON OF MY POEMSAbecedarianon writing and words,old,
3/18/2013Andrea DietrichClerihewdedication,
3/18/2013Alternating --- ZaniesABCphilosophy,
3/17/2013POETS ON POETRYAbecedarianon writing and words,phil
3/17/2013Swift TernsTankafreedom,nature,
3/16/2013 A ZANYSuzette Primephilosophy,
3/14/2013REREDOSTankaautumn,metaphor,passion,r
3/1/2013WISDOM STRINGVerseallegory,hope,inspiration
2/22/2013THEN UNDERSTANDFree verse (vers libre)inspirational,introspecti
2/22/2013INNOCENCEVerseinspirational,
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