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Mandy Tams The Golden Girl's Blog

About Mandy Tams The Golden Girl
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I don't want you to get bored looking at me and hubby in the garden last year, so I'll show it to you in the daylight, my refuge where the foxes wander.
There is not much that many of you don't know about me now, I enjoy a good laugh and if I can find one I will. If I can make someone smile my day is complete. I enjoy people and people watching but do not suffer fools easily, mainly because my dad told me I would be one when I grew up, and I think he may have been right.
I was born in Yorkshire and the extended family are still there but we now live in Staffordshire, we being my husband of 33 years and our two sons, well one of them has left and lives with his partner a girl whom we love dearly.
My latest hobby is writing and from this I am learning a great deal from and about people, that write.
My latest, latest thing to keep me occupied is making myself a nice new fleece top, it's getting cold and my old one; which must be 12 years old has had to be sent to a better place and I miss it already RIP>

 

Most Recent Blog Post


MAN + WOMAN =
Blog Posted:4/16/2013 8:08:00 AM

 

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS 

Smart man + smart woman = romance 

Smart man + dumb woman = affair 

Dumb man + smart woman = marriage 

Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy 

OFFICE ARITHMETIC 

Smart boss + smart employee = profit 

Smart boss + dumb employee = production 

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion 

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime 

SHOPPING MATH 

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. 

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need. 

GENERAL EQUATIONS 

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. 

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. 

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. 

A successful woman is one who can find such a man. 

HAPPINESS 

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. 

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all. 

LONGEVITY STATISTICS 

Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die. 

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE 

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. 

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. 

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE 

A woman has the last word in any argument. 

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. 

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED 

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." 

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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  1. Date: 4/18/2013 1:14:00 PM
    My Dear Sister, Mandy,Hope this finds YOU and YOURS(Ours) Healthy and High in the Spirit.I Agree with the Longevity one. The last one about the Aunts had me laughing hysterically.Sis Please read my blog. I LOVE YOU ALWAYS and FOREVER YOUR LOVING Brother...Harry

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  1. Date: 4/17/2013 4:01:00 AM
    LOL :D

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/17/2013 6:23:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    have a good trip Rick xx
  1. Date: 4/17/2013 12:38:00 AM
    these are really good, Mandy. I think I saw them a long time ago. isn't Deb's kitty avatar down here so cute??

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/17/2013 6:23:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    it is so sweet , want one lol xx
  1. Date: 4/16/2013 9:42:00 PM
    This is the funniest thing I have read in a while Mandy!! Love that part about the weddings and funeral...too funny and I might try that myself!!Thanks for making me laugh!.....Deb

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/17/2013 12:12:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    I think I will try it too lol glad you enjoyed it Deb xx
  1. Date: 4/16/2013 2:18:00 PM
    So funny Mandy.....Seren

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/17/2013 12:11:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Sass xx
  1. Date: 4/16/2013 12:09:00 PM
    A woman marries a man expecting him to change his undieswhere..but he doesn't...that's me! They are so easy to step into in the mornings...standing tall...Bart Simpson in the front...riding shotgun...his daddy Homer...in the back...sucking wind...haha

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/16/2013 12:28:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Frank xx
  1. Date: 4/16/2013 10:47:00 AM
    Im laughing like an idiot!! This is terrific!

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/17/2013 9:38:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ouch! You're right ... Im laughing ... just like I used to laugh! : )
    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/16/2013 12:27:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hi Ruben ,....thanks but what does an idiot laugh like? lol xx
  1. Date: 4/16/2013 9:02:00 AM
    lol, Mandy my favorites are the last one, and ~A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. PD

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/16/2013 12:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Mine too PD, thanks love xx
  1. Date: 4/16/2013 8:45:00 AM
    OMG Mandy this was so enjoyable to read. too too funny, The last line is by far the best hahaha

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/16/2013 12:26:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Must admit it is a good one xx
  1. Date: 4/16/2013 8:43:00 AM
    Lord, I'm still laughing about that last line...that's the funniest thing I've heard in a while!

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 4/16/2013 12:25:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Glad to hear it Caleb xx

My Past Blog Posts

 
LOL
Date Posted: 3/1/2014 1:16:00 PM
IS IT THE SECOND COMING?
Date Posted: 2/16/2014 10:57:00 AM
PHILOSOPHY IMPORTANT
Date Posted: 1/15/2014 3:36:00 AM
Get Well Soon Frank. mummy style humour for you
Date Posted: 1/11/2014 8:31:00 AM
LOOK CAREFULLY
Date Posted: 1/5/2014 4:17:00 AM
MY CHALLENGE PEACE ON THE EARTH AND GOODWILL TO ALL MEN
Date Posted: 12/31/2013 4:07:00 AM
Onions and Christmas Trees
Date Posted: 12/9/2013 6:46:00 AM
Flow Chart Managment
Date Posted: 11/15/2013 5:47:00 AM
LOL
Date Posted: 11/14/2013 4:50:00 AM
Hi
Date Posted: 11/11/2013 5:39:00 AM
My reaction to Spiders too
Date Posted: 11/4/2013 4:08:00 AM
Rules for dating my sons
Date Posted: 11/3/2013 6:33:00 AM
The moment you realise it's ony Tuesday.
Date Posted: 11/1/2013 7:20:00 AM
Thoughts and Thanks
Date Posted: 10/15/2013 8:45:00 AM
Cool yae or nae
Date Posted: 10/3/2013 6:48:00 AM
Hi
Date Posted: 9/12/2013 5:47:00 AM
Hi
Date Posted: 9/7/2013 3:33:00 AM
Pull Buddy Pull
Date Posted: 8/15/2013 7:38:00 AM
When A Woman says 'what'
Date Posted: 8/13/2013 7:39:00 AM
Finally found a good plumber
Date Posted: 8/5/2013 1:31:00 AM
Yes and Eys
Date Posted: 8/2/2013 10:08:00 AM
HAPPY YORKSHIRE DAY
Date Posted: 8/1/2013 12:36:00 AM
ONE TOO MANY
Date Posted: 7/30/2013 11:36:00 AM
Fancy Cooking
Date Posted: 7/23/2013 1:02:00 AM
Toilet Humour
Date Posted: 7/16/2013 4:50:00 AM

My Poems

12345678
Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
3/28/2014Robin HoodQuatrainhistory,
3/26/2014From The TowpathSonnethistory,
3/23/2014Whitby 2012Versefantasy,
3/19/2014JamesOde how i feel,
2/3/2014YesterdayAcrosticboyfriend,
2/3/2014The FatesSonnetlove,love hurts,
1/30/2014The true story Of Fanny LynesOde history,
1/16/2014Meadow SweetSonnetlove,
1/10/2014Portrait of a LifeSonnetlove,
1/8/2014KintsuroiRhymehumor,
1/8/2014YellowVersedream,
1/1/2014PEACE ON THE EARTH AND GOODWILL TO ALL MEN CHALLENGEVerseinspirational,
12/19/2013To DawnRhymededication,
12/16/2013Christmas Is ConfusingRhymechristmas,
12/11/2013My Turn will ComeRhymemetaphor,
12/10/2013A Kiss Under The MistletoeQuatrainkiss,
12/10/2013Three Sure Signs Of Christmas repostRhymechristmas,
12/7/2013EmmanuelLyricsong,
12/3/2013From John Johnson to Guy FawkesRhymehistory,holiday,
12/2/2013A Vampire's kissRhymeevil,
12/2/2013Behind Every CloudQuatrainimagination,
11/26/2013The Death of A KingVerseimage,
11/24/2013The Sweetest WordsFree versewords,
11/24/2013On An Ordinary DayVersehumor,
11/18/2013The CanalQuatrainbeauty,
12345678

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