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Mandy Tams The Golden Girl's Blog

About Mandy Tams The Golden Girl
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I don't want you to get bored looking at me and hubby in the garden last year, so I'll show it to you in the daylight, my refuge where the foxes wander.
There is not much that many of you don't know about me now, I enjoy a good laugh and if I can find one I will. If I can make someone smile my day is complete. I enjoy people and people watching but do not suffer fools easily, mainly because my dad told me I would be one when I grew up, and I think he may have been right.
I was born in Yorkshire and the extended family are still there but we now live in Staffordshire, we being my husband of 33 years and our two sons, well one of them has left and lives with his partner a girl whom we love dearly.
My latest hobby is writing and from this I am learning a great deal from and about people, that write.
My latest, latest thing to keep me occupied is making myself a nice new fleece top, it's getting cold and my old one; which must be 12 years old has had to be sent to a better place and I miss it already RIP>

 

Most Recent Blog Post


FOR THE EDUCATED
Blog Posted:1/25/2013 5:59:00 AM

 

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Circumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian . 

3. She was only a Whisky maker, but he loved her still. 

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 

10.. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. 

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.' 

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me. 

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off the Grass.' 

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.' 

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 

18. It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it. 

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 

21. A backward poet writes inverse. 

22. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes. 

23 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion. 

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.

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  1. Date: 1/29/2013 11:01:00 AM
    LOL they are great Mandy, hope your having a fab time in the sun..Seren

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  1. Date: 1/27/2013 9:05:00 AM
    baahaahaahaa !! Loved them all...thanks for the morning laugh.

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/28/2013 8:37:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Good makes it all worthwhile xx
  1. Date: 1/26/2013 11:11:00 AM
    My Husband laughed all the way thru breakfast when I read these to him... You're becoming famous in our house...

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/28/2013 8:37:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    awh bless xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 12:42:00 PM
    Hi Mandy don't get any of them, thick from Shropshire lol, all the best Owen

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 2:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Hey I have friends in Shropshire and you lol xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 10:20:00 AM
    8 ) <---with intellectual glasses!

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 11:46:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Why are you an Ex Ruben are you a Ruby now ???? lol thanks Ruben xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 10:09:00 AM
    These are great, Mandy! Thanks for sharing.

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 11:45:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    My pleasure Kim luv xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 9:20:00 AM
    Pretty funny stuff Goldie

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 11:45:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Debbie, ripping my hair out here lol xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 8:17:00 AM
    Only English can allow jokes like these. GREAT!

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 11:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    They are clever aren't they , they give me a laugh xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 7:19:00 AM
    These are fantastic! #4 had me laughing out loud. #12 and #24 were also faves!

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 11:44:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Me too I love 24 xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 6:42:00 AM
    Very very good joke here luv. Thanks for making me chuckle today. Love always, Gail

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 6:55:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    hi Gail nice to see you here again luv I am away for a week take care xx
  1. Date: 1/25/2013 6:18:00 AM
    ha ha...Mandy very good, 23 fav...

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 1/25/2013 6:55:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ha trust you ,, get a rest won't you xx

My Past Blog Posts

 
Corny Ones
Date Posted: 5/21/2013 10:28:00 AM
Finding You
Date Posted: 5/17/2013 10:43:00 AM
UPDATE FOR DAVID WILLIAMS
Date Posted: 5/9/2013 1:28:00 PM
DAVID WILLIAM'S CON /VOWEL CONTEST Apologies
Date Posted: 5/3/2013 1:17:00 AM
FUNNIES FOR YOU AND NEWS ON SEREN
Date Posted: 4/29/2013 1:13:00 PM
AS YOU SLIDE DOWN THE BANISTER OF LIFE AND BEST WISHES FOR SEREN AND GAIL
Date Posted: 4/26/2013 3:37:00 AM
CAR TROUBLE
Date Posted: 4/20/2013 6:12:00 AM
MAN + WOMAN =
Date Posted: 4/16/2013 8:08:00 AM
ANGRY WIFE
Date Posted: 4/12/2013 8:30:00 AM
Seven Inches
Date Posted: 4/8/2013 6:11:00 AM
WISDON TEETH REMOVAL
Date Posted: 4/5/2013 10:33:00 AM
FINDING THE RIGHT GIRL TO MARRY
Date Posted: 3/30/2013 6:52:00 AM
Best Friends
Date Posted: 3/23/2013 6:55:00 AM
BEER RESEARCH
Date Posted: 3/22/2013 5:39:00 AM
Good Advice
Date Posted: 3/19/2013 3:06:00 AM
Dog Lovers watch this
Date Posted: 3/18/2013 5:31:00 AM
Health Advice
Date Posted: 3/15/2013 4:44:00 AM
Girls Night Out
Date Posted: 3/14/2013 10:35:00 AM
OLD AGE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
Date Posted: 3/13/2013 6:45:00 AM
Death Of Black Magic
Date Posted: 3/12/2013 4:25:00 AM
CREDIT CARDS
Date Posted: 3/11/2013 3:49:00 AM
A Million Dollars
Date Posted: 3/9/2013 5:20:00 AM
A Kiss A Yard
Date Posted: 3/8/2013 7:26:00 AM
Passing On A Warning
Date Posted: 3/7/2013 11:37:00 AM
Expensive Perfume
Date Posted: 3/6/2013 9:19:00 AM

My Poems

12345678
Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
5/21/2013Why there were no Unicorns on Noah's ArkCoupletanimal,
5/20/2013Little OneVersememory,sad,
5/20/2013GO GIRL GO ADULTS ONLYRhymehumorous,
5/1/2013BacchusHaikuwine,
5/1/2013A Ripple In TimeLight Poetrylonging,
4/30/2013Re AwakeningSonnetjoy,love,
4/29/2013Our HeartSonnetemotions,
4/25/2013Portrait In WordsSonnetcharacter,
4/22/2013Self PortraitVersecharacter,
4/22/2013UnderstandingRhymemissing you,
4/17/2013The Kitchen FitterFree verse (vers libre)life,me,me,
4/16/2013haiku 3Haikunature,
4/16/2013Love And TrustSonnetlove,words,love,trust,
4/14/2013The First TimeSonnetlove,truth,
4/12/2013UFOSenryulove,
4/11/2013Upon A Bed Of PetalsQuatrainlove,romance,love,
4/10/2013Water BabiesRhymeimagination,children,worl
4/10/2013Famous CouplesRhymelost,god,eve,god,
4/5/2013The Rescue metamorphRhymelove,child,child,friend,h
4/1/2013The MoleLimerickhumorous,
3/29/2013Trial and ErrorRhymemetaphor,strength,
3/27/2013Z is for ZariaABCnature,name,tree,beauty,f
3/27/2013The Rattle Of The KeyboardGrookwrite,
3/23/2013The Missing PieceRhymelife,me,day,me,
3/22/2013What Lurks WithinCoupletangst,light,light,may,me,
12345678

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