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Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen's Blog

About Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen
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Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen was born, reared, and now resides in Florida.  She is a down to earth kind of woman with a nurturing love for her fellow man.  Dane's quests for knowledge throughout her life, and her curious desire for adventure have blessed her endlessly.  She is the mother of three wonderful children, who grew up all too soon.  Why must they do that?  She currently basks in her role as a “doting grandmother...and a plant fiend!”

 

 

 “Renaissance Woman” as one of her former professors called her fits Dane rather well.  She has so many interests in the ordinary things of life as well as a very BROAD BASED formal education, including: two college degrees, a Bachelor of Science Degree in the Sciences and a Master’s degree in Public Administration.  Dane also earned many post baccalaureate credits (60+ in Fine Art and about 27 in Education.) 

Besides the great diversity in her education, Dane is multi-talented in the arts and loves gardening.  She enjoys the four P’s: photography, painting, poetry and plants.  Some of Dane’s paintings and photography are posted on Redbubble.com.  The following link will take you directly to her art and digital design gallery.  http://daneann.redbubble.com/works  

Her family, friends, photography and plants may be seen on facebook http://www.facebook.com/Daneann

Please also visit her plant exchange group as well.  Especially if you live in the Suwannee Valley area. SuwanneeValleyFlowerandPlantExchange/.com 

 

 

Last, but not least, Dane is a published poet.  Her book, “100 Poems for Life” is available through Amazon.com and Publish America.com, at: http://www.publishamerica.net/product87773.html.  Email Dane directly at DaneAnn@aol.com. with your inquiries  about signed copies.

Life is Wonderful!  I'm alive and loving it!



The North Pole Diet Dilemma (Our Collaborative Poem, Final Version!)


Blog Posted:12/23/2010 10:22:00 PM

The North Pole Diet Dilemma

It was the night before Christmas, Mrs. Claus slept in her bed.

Thinking about breakfast, when Santa and his elves would be fed.

Too much Santa had been eating; and when he went, "Ho-Ho-Ho,"   

He risked getting caught in chimneys, needing a lube from Crisco.     

So, Mrs. Clause decided Slim Fast should be on his menu...

To preserve Santa's agility in the chimney venue. 

Slim Fast he drank though he shouted out, "Eeooohh."   

He said, "Mrs. Claus it tastes just like glue."

"Oh stop your complaining," she replied. "You're getting too plump,    

I've never seen Santa with such a big rump!" 

Mrs. Clause did not know about the stash of sweet treats 

Santa had hidden in a bag right beside the sleigh seat! 

A charitable Claus with no flaws good for the Christmas cause,

Shares treats with red-nosed Rudolph, fat hind feet and paws!

And so they all readied to finally take flight.

But Santa was struggling. His suit was too tight.

He borrowed a girdle from his wife's dresser drawer 

And vowed cakes and candy, he'd eat never more.

A quick trip to North Pole Mall to buy some new girdles...      

Poor tiny reindeer could barely scale snowy hurdles ... 

Rolls of Santa's "jolly" belly lapped over that girdle...        

So competing on the biggest loser might be his next hurdle.       

He went jogging instead of walking during toy quality controls,

Then he caught heavenly whiffs of baking cinnamon rolls! 

All dreams of diet went out of his head, he said, 

"If I must give up sweets, I would rather be dead"

"Nonsense," said Mrs. Clause as she made a call to Jillian...

Biggest Loser coach, "Please make Santa a studly stallion!" 

But try as he might, to change this jolly old elf,

A jelly-belly Santa was the way he and others viewed himself.

Fatty bon-bon Santa shouted, “Hi ho, hi ho!”

He thought of keeping candy meant for Edgar Allen Poe!

On the dash of the sleigh was a cocoa machine,

Steaming hot chocolate in a mug red and green.

He had chocolate fudge and cookies with icing

He feared Mrs. Claus, but it was so enticing!

So many children and sweet treats he must eat.

He knew that this diet must wait ‘til next week.

So, he hopped in his sleigh, waved bye to each elf.

And flew through the night stuffing himself.


CONTRIBUTING POETS, alphabetically:

Linda-Marie Bariana, Celene Crescent, Carolyn Devonshire, Andrea Dietrich, John Freeman, Barbara Gorelick, Cecil Hickman, Joyce Johnson, Constance La France, Catie Lindsey, Diane Locksley, Nikko Palmario, Linda Rutherford, Dane Ann Smith-Johnsen, and Deb Wilson

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  1. Date: 12/25/2010 2:33:00 PM
    I will be posting this under my name giving credits to everyone. You can favorite if you want to and read it next year for fun...or anytime in between! Please double check It for spelling or grammar errors in the comments below before I do...will do after midnight the 26th. Thank you for enjoying and letting me know! Happy (continuing)Holidays!

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  1. Date: 12/25/2010 1:16:00 PM
    I had a fun time with this Dane, Thanks. My sis cooked me a raisin pie, for my birthday. My favorite, and I am afraid I got off my diet, too. Agape, Moses

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  1. Date: 12/24/2010 9:37:00 PM
    Dane ann, it was a very fun idea you came up with. Thanks for all you do for Soup. I hope the other project you had in mind turned out well too! Luv, Andrea

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  1. Date: 12/24/2010 2:40:00 PM
    It turned out wonderful, Dane Ann, what a great idea.. and I am with Santa, my diet must wait "til next week' ~~~Merry Christmas

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  1. Date: 12/24/2010 2:26:00 PM
    It's interesting how this turned out. Have a Merry Christmas!

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  1. Date: 12/24/2010 10:41:00 AM
    A good job by all, Dane Ann. Thanks for giving us a chance to participate. Have a merry Christmas, Soupers!

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  1. Date: 12/24/2010 12:30:00 AM
    We Did it!

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My Past Blog Posts

 
I Skyped with Adeleke!
Date Posted: 8/28/2012 5:46:00 AM
Adeleke's Computer
Date Posted: 8/23/2012 9:23:00 AM
Update on Helping Adeleke
Date Posted: 8/12/2012 3:03:00 AM
Update on Adeleke's Computer
Date Posted: 7/13/2012 6:21:00 PM
Update on Helping Adeleke
Date Posted: 6/28/2012 12:11:00 AM
Shall We Help Adeleke Adeite?
Date Posted: 6/21/2012 5:28:00 AM
Rusults Are In!
Date Posted: 3/4/2012 6:43:00 AM
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Date Posted: 2/21/2012 1:19:00 PM
Footles Contest
Date Posted: 2/15/2012 6:21:00 AM
VALENTINE Footles
Date Posted: 2/7/2012 4:27:00 AM
Carolyn's Computer Crashed!
Date Posted: 1/30/2012 3:59:00 PM
Haiku 5-7-5 or NOT?!?
Date Posted: 1/29/2012 5:10:00 PM
Happy New Year, Friends
Date Posted: 1/2/2012 12:42:00 PM
Debbie's Computer Crashed!
Date Posted: 11/16/2011 6:35:00 PM
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Date Posted: 8/28/2011 11:35:00 AM
SCHOOL IS OUT FOR SUMMER!
Date Posted: 6/10/2011 9:53:00 AM
BETTER LATE THAN NEVER! Good Deed Contest Results Are In!
Date Posted: 5/27/2011 5:59:00 AM
STRESS (Be Blessed)
Date Posted: 5/8/2011 3:25:00 AM
DREAMS (A collaboration)
Date Posted: 5/4/2011 10:01:00 AM
ADVERSITY (A colaboration)
Date Posted: 5/3/2011 3:20:00 AM
Happy Easter!
Date Posted: 4/23/2011 11:55:00 PM
A Quick Christmas Survey
Date Posted: 12/26/2010 6:02:00 PM
The North Pole Diet Dilemma (Our Collaborative Poem, Final Version!)
Date Posted: 12/23/2010 10:22:00 PM
Brainstorms for a Title...Please VOTE now!
Date Posted: 12/21/2010 10:52:00 AM
Join the Fun and Name Our Poem
Date Posted: 12/20/2010 12:34:00 PM

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