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Kelly Crenshaw's Blog

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Helpful tips for 2014
Blog Posted:1/25/2014 1:40:00 AM

 

The following PSA courtesy of the head lice prevention committee. Ten common sense things to avoid in 2014
10. skunks or porcupines
Just trust me on this ok?
9. Hominy. This is corn's evil cousin. Stay away at all costs
8. Avoid jumping off anything taller than a one story building. You'll thank me later
7. The IRS. If you encounter them, it never ends well. Let's just say they don't have your best interests at heart
6. The ATF. Please see #7 statement
5. Avoid any mayor from Toronto or San Diego 
4. Avoid being tied up and stuffed into a tow sack and being thrown into a river or any other body of water
3. It's best to avoid occasional constipation, however if #4 is happening to you, generally that will relieve any constipation symptom
2. Avoid falling asleep in any burning building.
1. It's best to avoid being bitten by any vampire, werewolf, or zombie; no matter which political party they are affiliated with.
These are just a few tips to help your new year be a better year. And statistics also show that people that get sick, or fall out of airplanes, or that are involved in airplane crashes or car crashes, are far more likely to need more health care. So don't get sick, fly in airplanes or travel in cars.
Also; most fatal accidents occur within 10 miles of where you live, so I think it's good advice for all of us is to not get sick and move at least 10 miles away from where we now live. But if you like your current plan you can keep it. And oh yeah, avoid hominy. 

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  1. Date: 1/25/2014 11:33:00 AM
    Very funny, Kelly!

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  1. Date: 1/25/2014 9:31:00 AM
    No posole FOR YOU! This was great!

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  1. Date: 1/25/2014 5:05:00 AM
    What helpful witty and humorous tips, thanks

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  1. Date: 1/25/2014 3:51:00 AM
    This was clever! Bravo! :) G.

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    H. Avatar FRANK H. Date: 1/25/2014 4:22:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    YOU'RE NOT!!!

My Past Blog Posts

 
Thin Mints
Date Posted: 2/8/2014 1:29:00 PM
Headlines
Date Posted: 2/7/2014 11:05:00 PM
Dear Winter
Date Posted: 2/6/2014 12:54:00 PM
Take a challenge
Date Posted: 2/3/2014 10:33:00 AM
Helpful tips for 2014
Date Posted: 1/25/2014 1:40:00 AM
Something broke in me
Date Posted: 1/20/2014 11:49:00 PM

My Poems

Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
2/6/2014Trading my tomorrowsRhymeangst,character,conflict,
2/4/2014Yesterday's tomorrowRhymetime
1/24/2014After the fallRhymeage,childhood,children,ch
1/17/2014Where do dreams go when they dieRhymecharacter,christian,confu
1/16/2014The unopened letterRhymebreak up,confusion,heartb
1/12/2014Cyber realRhymecomputer,culture,identity
1/9/2014What am I running fromLyricaddiction,confusion,emoti
1/7/2014Mr know it allRhymechristian,conflict,creati
1/6/2014I hopeRhymebirthday,courage,culture,
1/3/2014Religion's MaskRhymechristian,corruption,cult
12/29/2013Us against themRhymeconflict,culture,god,insp
12/28/2013And if electedProsehumor,humorous,parody,pol
12/28/2013I ain't just yet what I will beRhymeage,change,god,growth,lif
12/27/2013Can a river run without its legsRhymeheartbroken,life,lonely,l
12/27/2013The here and nowRhymephilosophy,political,soci

My Photos


Fav Poems

Poem TitleFormCategories
Rarely Spoken WordsProse Poetryrelationship,
SPIRITUALLY INTERRUPTEDFree versecreation,lust,
Just Because I said I DoFree verse 
Whispers Of LightRhymeangel,light,miracle,

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