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Kirstie Fontes's Blog

About Kirstie Fontes
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Woman, Libra, Mother, Daughter, Sister, Portuguese, Singer, Writer, Reader, Pepsi Drinker, Texter, Music Lover, Friend, Shopaholic, Picture Taker, God’s Child, Romantic, Brunette, Movie-goer, Meat Eater, Spectator, Day Dreamer, Homebody, People Watcher, Optimist, Sun Lover, Odd Ball, Prayer, Introvert, Finger Crosser, Believer.


How do I go on..........


Blog Posted:8/11/2013 8:23:00 AM

        Since I was last on here my life has changed drastically. I divorced my husband of 16 years, finally seeing just how toxic that relationship was for me.  I was reunited with my best friend from high school and married him. So I'm remarried already and very happy with him. 
        My new husband and I were expecting our first baby this September, but this last Sunday my world collapsed. I was 33 weeks pregnant and everything seemed to be going well. All the tests and ultrasounds looked good...however my baby boy didn't make it.  His heart stopped beating (and they don't know why), they induced labor and on Tuesday I delivered my stillborn son... I am devastated!!! He was beautiful and looked so healthy, I got to hold him and name him....I just don't understand....what did I do wrong?!?!
       
         I'm not really looking for answers...just hurting...I will forever love my son Matthew and miss the life we could have had....
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  1. Date: 8/11/2013 7:14:00 PM
    My heart goes out to you and sending comfort. Matthew wont be far away from you ever. All the best to you, Prayers, Colleen

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  1. Date: 8/11/2013 11:52:00 AM
    You go on in his honor, you go on with your love for him and his for you and knowing his spirit, his soul will never die and trust in that love. God bless!

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  1. Date: 8/11/2013 11:45:00 AM
    sad to hear of your loss. I have no answer to give. my 21 year old daughter passed the same loss March 23 -13 ..... up to this day, all she does is punish herself and ask, what did she do wrong. I cry for her with her,... I am proud of her, this made her stronger. she still grieves over Baby Bale, who was a stillborn baby at 33 weeks. We will never understand. :-( I held him with non stop tears. I can not explain the feeling that day, nor will I put it behind me. It's hard to explain to friends and family, not only did I see my grandson enter this world without a breath or heartbeat. I felt everything in my daughter die that very day. :-( Matthew is a beautiful boys name...luv...linda

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  1. Date: 8/11/2013 9:43:00 AM
    He's in Gods hands... You'll see him some day again... Sorry for your loss... Some times those things just happen...

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  1. Date: 8/11/2013 8:59:00 AM
    Firstly You did nothing wrong, remember that, I am a midwife so please trust me when I say this. Secondly The hurt will never pass just get easier, Most of all you and your husband need each other more than ever, remember he lost a child as well. Your son will watch over you, always at your sides...Seren

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  1. Date: 8/11/2013 8:39:00 AM
    Dear Kirstie, you may not know me, but I'm familiar with your name from your blogs before--sending you some hugs and prayers for strength right now. I'm really so sorry for your loss :(, I can only imagine how devastating this is for you and your husband :(. We really don't know sometimes why tragedies happen, but yes, I think that each second that Matthew was with you, he felt your love. Draw strength from those who love you, and from God. You have an angel with you always now, and he's definitely in your hearts... my prayers & thoughts are with you & your family-- Nikko

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My Past Blog Posts

 
How do I go on..........
Date Posted: 8/11/2013 8:23:00 AM
My life is in a shit house....
Date Posted: 5/23/2012 4:03:00 PM
Happy Veterans Day
Date Posted: 11/11/2010 7:41:00 AM
Man's Search for Meaning
Date Posted: 9/13/2010 1:41:00 PM
On the issue of taking kids to school on the first day...
Date Posted: 8/30/2010 10:05:00 AM
WAITING..........
Date Posted: 6/22/2010 11:51:00 AM
Que Sera, Sera
Date Posted: 8/11/2009 9:21:00 AM
I'm Back .... Kinda
Date Posted: 12/3/2007 12:48:00 AM
Now I have Pneumonia!!!!!!!
Date Posted: 10/19/2007 6:03:00 PM
Thanks to all my Poetrysoup Friends
Date Posted: 10/1/2007 8:48:00 PM
Believe
Date Posted: 9/18/2007 1:45:00 PM
Update on "First Time Home Buyer"
Date Posted: 8/30/2007 11:03:00 AM
In the mind of a Dreamer!
Date Posted: 7/30/2007 1:27:00 PM
Busy, Busy, Busy
Date Posted: 7/27/2007 4:50:00 PM
Sweet voices calling out
Date Posted: 7/20/2007 9:09:00 AM
Thank you for your comments
Date Posted: 7/13/2007 3:11:00 PM
First Time Home Buyer.
Date Posted: 7/10/2007 2:55:00 PM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
9/12/2013 A Mother's Grief Free versedeath
5/24/2012 A Partial telling of the Molested Child I do not know?childhood,confusion,fear,
5/23/2012 My Plea Lyricdepression,life,song-lyri
9/23/2011 Loss Alliterationconfusion,
7/14/2011 Love Unconditional Rhymeanniversary,devotion,husb
7/14/2010 Happy Anniversay Free verseanniversary,devotion,love
6/22/2010 Life On Hold..... Rhymelifeday,
12/9/2009 Christmas Poem Rhymeholiday
11/10/2009 Tattered Heart Rhymeloss,love,heart,heart,lov
8/11/2009 The Gift Rhymefaith,hope,life,loveme,li
8/11/2009 Sleep Depravation Haikulifelonging,
8/10/2009 A New Day Couplethope,peace,uplifting
4/8/2009 LIBRA Acrostic 
4/8/2009 Eternal Torment Rhymeangst,confusionme,
3/25/2009 My Little Girl Free versechildhood,daughter,happin
3/24/2009 Love Me Rhymedevotion,husband,loveme,l
2/11/2009 Anxiety Rhymeangst,confusion,life
1/8/2009 Slowing Down Rhymechildhood,education,famil
8/13/2008 Inspire Me Rhymefriendship,hope,husband,l
7/21/2008 Call Into The Night Rhymeangst,confusion,death,dep
6/15/2008 Because You Didn't Have To Be Rhymedevotion,father,love,me,l
5/15/2008 Purpose Sonnetangst,depression,introspe
3/21/2008 Birthday Wishes Rhymechildhood,daughter,philos
2/20/2008 Plea for Sanity Rhymeangst,confusion,depressio
2/20/2008 13 Years Rhymehusband,love,wife,day,lov
12/12/2007 A Sisters Love Rhymebrother,devotion,family,h
12/3/2007 Turmoil Lyricconfusion,depression,hope
10/16/2007 Loves Embrace Lyriclove,passion,time,me,time
10/13/2007 Is This It Rhymeangst,caregiving,confusio
10/12/2007 Autumn Haikunature,
9/21/2007 Beautiful Shelby Rhymedaughter,happiness,hope,l
9/21/2007 To My Daddy I do not know?childhood,family,father,
9/20/2007 Forever I do not know?devotion,family,friendshi
9/20/2007 Because Of You I do not know?hope,husband,love,heart,h
9/20/2007 Today Coupletfaith,philosophy,
8/30/2007 Overprotective Rhymecaregiving,family,life,mo
8/10/2007 Longing for Peace Rhymeconfusion,depression,life
7/10/2007 SOLDIER Acrosticdevotion,passion,thank yo
7/9/2007 FAMILY Acrosticfamily
7/9/2007 FATHER Acrosticfather
7/3/2007 To My Angel Mother Lyriccaregiving,daughter,famil
6/28/2007 Life's Path Rhymefaith,life,future,me,i lo
6/22/2007 Sweet Emily Rhymedaughter,faith,happiness,
6/20/2007 HOPE Rhymefaith,hope,inspirational,
6/19/2007 Grandma Rhymefamily,happiness,love,lov
6/19/2007 Screaming In Silence Rhymeangst,confusion,death,dev
6/19/2007 Hidden Beauty Rhymelove,peace,uplifting,
6/18/2007 TO JAMES Rhymedevotion,husband,life,lov

My Photos


ps_EmilyShelby.JPG

Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
To Believe or Not To Believe: The Power of Unbelief Ode inspirational,life,philos
Yes, There Really is Monsters Sonnetchildhood,recovery from..
The Island of Unlived Dreams Imagismhope,life,sea,
MOLESTED Acrosticchildhood,recovery from..
BIPOLAR Acrosticrecovery from...,sad,
Mental Shoes Sonnetlife,recovery from...,sad
Precious Time . I do not know?life,time,
Failure Free versepolitical,social,prayer,
Last Sunday Lyricangst,introspection,life,
Dry Tears Rhymehusband,introspection,los
Thats a sin Coupletconfusion,faith,life,peop
Rejected Lyricchildhood
My Pen Collection Coupletdevotion,faith,hope,life,
Infected Rhymeintrospection,life,sad,
A Date With Destiny Rhymelife
The perfect moment Lyricfriendship,hope,peace,rom

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Emily Fontes United States Flag United States Read
Crystal Bourret Canada Flag Canada Read
sharon Winter United States Flag United States Read
Michael Jordan United States Flag United States Read
Stacy Stiles United States Flag United States Read
Michelle Seher United States Flag United States Read