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Mandy Tams The Golden Girl's Blog

About Mandy Tams The Golden Girl
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I don't want you to get bored looking at me and hubby in the garden last year, so I'll show it to you in the daylight, my refuge where the foxes wander.
There is not much that many of you don't know about me now, I enjoy a good laugh and if I can find one I will. If I can make someone smile my day is complete. I enjoy people and people watching but do not suffer fools easily, mainly because my dad told me I would be one when I grew up, and I think he may have been right.
I was born in Yorkshire and the extended family are still there but we now live in Staffordshire, we being my husband of 33 years and our two sons, well one of them has left and lives with his partner a girl whom we love dearly.
My latest hobby is writing and from this I am learning a great deal from and about people, that write.
My latest, latest thing to keep me occupied is making myself a nice new fleece top, it's getting cold and my old one; which must be 12 years old has had to be sent to a better place and I miss it already RIP>

 

Most Recent Blog Post


THINGS NOT TO ASK YOUR MOTHER
Blog Posted:12/7/2012 5:24:00 AM

 



Little Jenny walked into the kitchen one day and looked up at her mother, who was busy cooking dinner.

 "Mum how old are you?" she asked. 

"Now dear," said her mother, "You should never ask a woman what her age is." 

"Why not?" demanded Jenny. 

"Because it isn't polite. You'll understand better when you grow up." 

Jenny thought about it for a moment, then piped up,

 "Mum, how much do you weigh?" 

"Jenny," said her mother, "That's not a question you ask people." 

"Why not?" demanded Jenny. 

"Because it's not polite to ask grown-ups about how much they weigh. You'll understand some day." 

"Mum," Jenny asked, "Why did you and Daddy get divorced?" 

"Darling," her mother replied with a sigh, "That's something that's still very painful for Mummy, and I really can't talk about it now. I'll explain it to you when you are a little older." 

The next day, Jenny told a friend at school about the conversation with her mother. The other little girl explained to her,

 "All you have to do is get a look at your mum's driver's license. It has all the information about any grown-up you want on it." 

So little Jenny sneaked a peek in her mother's purse when she got home, and looked over her license, examining it carefully. That evening, she went back into the kitchen and announced, 

"I know how old you are, Mum, You are 36!" 

Her mother looked down at her, surprised. 

"And I know how much you weigh!" said Jenny. "You weigh 135 pounds." 

"Jenny, where did you learn this?", her mother asked. Jenny just smiled and continued,

 "And, I know why you and Daddy got a divorce." Her mother just gasped and asked, "Why?" 

Jenny replied, "Because you got an F in sex!" 

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  1. Date: 12/8/2012 1:53:00 AM
    Would I??????????? fthis is funny Mandy

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/8/2012 7:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Gals you think so harry xx
    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/8/2012 7:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    supposed to say glad you think so lol xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 11:47:00 PM
    Good one Mandy. Back Monday night .this isn't so easy by phone...Seren

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/8/2012 7:57:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Speak then then have a good time xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 2:37:00 PM
    Love it Mandy!!

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/8/2012 7:56:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Craig love yours too xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 2:04:00 PM
    Hi GG very good, just been shopping with our grand daughter who will be twelve in a week, she wants clothes so off we went, we looked and trouser dresses t shirts shoes and then she announces she want suspenders, my wife said are you sure your mum knoows yes hse said, well we were on our way to the lingerie department when or grand daughter said were are we going to get suspenders my wife said, why are you going to the underwaer department nanny i don't think they selll suspenders there, of course they do said my wife, what the one that hold up trousers she said oh my wife exclaimed you mean braces, phew that was close

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/8/2012 7:56:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Very close Owen xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 12:48:00 PM
    Another funny one!! :) Always love to see when you have a new blog post, :D

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 1:19:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Rebecca love xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 10:59:00 AM
    As Harry Garvey pointed out spare a thought for all those that got an M for sex that's way bad or does it mean 'M' for more lol xx

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  1. Date: 12/7/2012 9:52:00 AM
    Dear Mandy, Hope this finds YOU and YOURS Healthy and High in the Spirit.Speaking from experience it's terrible when one gets an F in sex mind says M Good blog LOVE ALWAYS and FOREVER YOUR Eternal (Young) Liege...Harry

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 10:56:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Gosh I suppose M is even worse Harry , what a shame for all those with an M for sex after their name lol xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 9:35:00 AM
    Where did you get this one? I've never heard of it! LOL! Excellent!

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 10:55:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    There are a lot you have never heard of Ruben and i intend to get them for you my friend if possible xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 8:50:00 AM
    Yes Mandy, it's a cracker, F for Fire Cracker, in french they are called Petard, did she smack him one over the head for this one? Mi Schiato di Riso, I'm busting rice and laughing, xxx Rose i

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 9:19:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    glad you are enjoying it my friend xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 8:25:00 AM
    lol, this is the holy grail of all jokes thus far. Wow. Good one Mandy. Love, Gail

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 8:34:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thanks Gail your responses are worth the searching out of them xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 8:11:00 AM
    Lol...I'm logging in just ta laugh.... F in sex....

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 8:33:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    It's a cracker, yes? xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 8:06:00 AM
    Children can be very resourceful! Love the punch line! Thanks for sharing, Mandy! Love, Kim

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 8:33:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Thank you for reading and commenting Kim, it's no fun without a response xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 7:20:00 AM
    Now. this brightened my day. Thanks for posting> Jancarl

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 7:48:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    then I am happy Jancarl and thank you xx
  1. Date: 12/7/2012 5:53:00 AM
    hmmmm children! and then they aren't and they still can be a pain in the butt. [that's if you are lucky enough to have any?] Light & Love

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    Tams The Golden Girl Avatar Mandy Tams The Golden Girl Date: 12/7/2012 6:10:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Oh big pain Debbie, but I suppose we wouldn't have it any other way, maybe , well I think not ..er xx

My Past Blog Posts

 
Usefull phrases to use at work
Date Posted: 5/23/2013 8:31:00 AM
Corny Ones
Date Posted: 5/21/2013 10:28:00 AM
Finding You
Date Posted: 5/17/2013 10:43:00 AM
UPDATE FOR DAVID WILLIAMS
Date Posted: 5/9/2013 1:28:00 PM
DAVID WILLIAM'S CON /VOWEL CONTEST Apologies
Date Posted: 5/3/2013 1:17:00 AM
FUNNIES FOR YOU AND NEWS ON SEREN
Date Posted: 4/29/2013 1:13:00 PM
AS YOU SLIDE DOWN THE BANISTER OF LIFE AND BEST WISHES FOR SEREN AND GAIL
Date Posted: 4/26/2013 3:37:00 AM
CAR TROUBLE
Date Posted: 4/20/2013 6:12:00 AM
MAN + WOMAN =
Date Posted: 4/16/2013 8:08:00 AM
ANGRY WIFE
Date Posted: 4/12/2013 8:30:00 AM
Seven Inches
Date Posted: 4/8/2013 6:11:00 AM
WISDON TEETH REMOVAL
Date Posted: 4/5/2013 10:33:00 AM
FINDING THE RIGHT GIRL TO MARRY
Date Posted: 3/30/2013 6:52:00 AM
Best Friends
Date Posted: 3/23/2013 6:55:00 AM
BEER RESEARCH
Date Posted: 3/22/2013 5:39:00 AM
Good Advice
Date Posted: 3/19/2013 3:06:00 AM
Dog Lovers watch this
Date Posted: 3/18/2013 5:31:00 AM
Health Advice
Date Posted: 3/15/2013 4:44:00 AM
Girls Night Out
Date Posted: 3/14/2013 10:35:00 AM
OLD AGE MARRIAGE PROPOSAL
Date Posted: 3/13/2013 6:45:00 AM
Death Of Black Magic
Date Posted: 3/12/2013 4:25:00 AM
CREDIT CARDS
Date Posted: 3/11/2013 3:49:00 AM
A Million Dollars
Date Posted: 3/9/2013 5:20:00 AM
A Kiss A Yard
Date Posted: 3/8/2013 7:26:00 AM
Passing On A Warning
Date Posted: 3/7/2013 11:37:00 AM

My Poems

12345678
Date PostedPoem TitleFormCategories
5/23/2013Touched By Your FlameSonnetpassion,
5/21/2013Why there were no Unicorns on Noah's ArkCoupletanimal,
5/20/2013Little OneVersememory,sad,
5/20/2013GO GIRL GO ADULTS ONLYRhymehumorous,
5/1/2013BacchusHaikuwine,
5/1/2013A Ripple In TimeLight Poetrylonging,
4/30/2013Re AwakeningSonnetjoy,love,
4/29/2013Our HeartSonnetemotions,
4/25/2013Portrait In WordsSonnetcharacter,
4/22/2013Self PortraitVersecharacter,
4/22/2013UnderstandingRhymemissing you,
4/17/2013The Kitchen FitterFree verse (vers libre)life,me,me,
4/16/2013haiku 3Haikunature,
4/16/2013Love And TrustSonnetlove,words,love,trust,
4/14/2013The First TimeSonnetlove,truth,
4/12/2013UFOSenryulove,
4/11/2013Upon A Bed Of PetalsQuatrainlove,romance,love,
4/10/2013Water BabiesRhymeimagination,children,worl
4/10/2013Famous CouplesRhymelost,god,eve,god,
4/5/2013The Rescue metamorphRhymelove,child,child,friend,h
4/1/2013The MoleLimerickhumorous,
3/29/2013Trial and ErrorRhymemetaphor,strength,
3/27/2013Z is for ZariaABCnature,name,tree,beauty,f
3/27/2013The Rattle Of The KeyboardGrookwrite,
3/23/2013The Missing PieceRhymelife,me,day,me,
12345678

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