Poetry Forum

scott 37 - all messages by user

8/9/2013 6:27:37 PM
Lies Lies Lies	I liked it, it did something for me. But I'm not sure the last line is required.
8/9/2013 6:33:04 PM
The Bridge	Nice, I like this. I just wonder about two things. Firstly, should the first line end with a "?" ? And maybe, "Hate only breeds..." could be on a new line. Just some thoughts edited by scott 37 on 8/9/2013
8/10/2013 8:27:53 PM
What? (Mature Language Warning)	Just wanted to say thanks. I liked the content, very enjoyable. I liked the pace and the style.
8/13/2013 5:24:11 PM
We all think we're more than the score	veneer, binding inferior to exterior, nice. Oh and thanks for the Robert Frost that I've read today.
8/16/2013 6:40:39 PM
I have posted my first poem	I'vebeen here a week now, and have had a great time reading some of the poetry youhave put up. Nice work, you are the reason that I joined. I have left a fewcomments, only one of which earned a reply. So today I've uploaded a poem ofmine that has done well in other circles. I've tried to place it in the"high critique" forum, does anyone know how to do this? Anyway it'scalled "morning", hope you can find it. Look forward to reading andwriting more
8/25/2013 5:31:18 PM
FAMILY MAN	Just thinking aloud, but I'm not real keen on your rhyme kids & skids. Seems a little to easy, and possibly too cheesy. If you skidded into the gutter where you now sit, then maybe??? "...hit the skids/ sliding into this gutter/ where day after day...". Please let me know what you think.
8/30/2013 3:42:43 PM
Darkness	Nice topic. I enjoyed this read well done. But I'd be cautious about all the "and's", three of your first four lines start with "and". You could try "Flooding..." instead of "and flood...".
8/30/2013 4:35:42 PM
Where the City Folk Live	WHERE THE CITY FOLK LIVE At the confluence of the cultures Where the politics ebb and flow The tide of humanity crashes Against their collective soul The spires of religions And posters of beliefs Crush against each other Through the weave of city streets Registered colours of commerce And trade mark tags of youth Line the valleys of glass and steel On floor, wall, and roof The constant clangs of progress Idle growls of restricted motion Drift across the green spaces Invading every moment The scent of communal sweat Wafts upon the breeze From the fires of exotic dishes And the fumes of commercial needs Feel free to swim the city Frolic in the human flow But be aware of the waves that break Against your precious soul edited by scott 37 on 8/30/2013
9/2/2013 2:58:08 AM
In My Skin	I hope that you were going for fun, because your new ending is far more fun.
9/11/2013 2:19:19 AM
Ways	I like the intention here, you've got a great message. I wonder however if an English grammar checker would help. Good stuff though, keep it up. edited by scott 37 on 9/13/2013
9/13/2013 5:22:53 PM
forgot	FORGOT I accelerated to join the flow and careered into life’s intersection but forgot to read the sign spat out the other side exchanging a foreign currency for food and shelter but forgot to visit the country tried on expensive suits and Champagne marble floors and caviar but forgot my destitution let Love lead me across the dance floor in a flurry of spins and dips but forgot I can’t tango finally this tide of events washed me upon the shores of disillusion catching pigs and chewing the fat but forgot I’m a vegetarian knelt before the altar seeking enlightenment but forgot I’m a non-believer so wrote a poem with all the imagery and metaphor I could muster but forgot to actually say anything edited by scott 37 on 9/13/2013 edited by scott 37 on 9/13/2013
8/16/2016 1:00:34 PM
A POEM ABOUT WHY I STOPPED WRITING POEMS	Shards of echoes, and splattered... superb lines, in a good poem. Though you do seem to waver a bit from the title, no great loss, for you've penned a nice read.
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