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3/17/2011 4:55:20 PM
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Unsound of mind
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what causes my soul to yearn for what causes me such pain?
and where is the source of the river of tears i cry?
Is it even possible that the rivalry, that the conflict i feel
is just two halves of my heart flying by?
I love him, nay, I love another.
One and both, and neither.
With my all, and nothing at all.
Is it possible that i don't love myself either?
Am I so blinded by selfish desire that who is mine is never their own?
an endless warped fantasy of mindless, sensless drones?
and i seek to find the only One.
The One who reels me back in after I've been overblown.
Are they just a dirty gauze placed over a festering wound?
All and none, and all that are around?
the ones I call to when they are needed
and, without a care, cast them aground?
My constant search, and lack to find,
and I use and abuse and leave them behind.
the pain, unbearable, the disgust with myself.
A woman with many lovers, and unsound of mind.
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3/17/2011 5:11:09 PM
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happiness
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Are we happy?
Is this state of being trapped behind all the lies we can't admit to happiness?
When we grit our teeth and smile sweetly at our boss, are we happy?
The lies that we hide behind meld.
They form a perfect screen to obscure all others' eyes from seeing whats within.
They never see you.
They never see me.
They see a mirage through the smoke and heat.
not even our spouses can penetrate this barrier.
They stand outside in the cold,
never understanding why there is no connection.
With time, the only common ground that they have is shattered hopelessly with the passing of time.
Two trains moving in opposite direction;
always headed by an incessant stream of lies.
And always lies.
the greatest of them being the lie of happiness
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3/17/2011 8:11:15 PM
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Hey everyone... New kid in class... lol
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well, i'm new here, just extending a broad hell-ooo. ummm i'm fifteen, love to write, love to read even more... have two blogs, one of which is strictly poetry (sandiedoreus.blogspot.com)
and that's about it for now...
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3/17/2011 8:23:34 PM
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Nightmare in Wonderland
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wow... this expresses the very soul of emptiness
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3/17/2011 8:25:30 PM
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AND HE FEEDS HER. please take a look x
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well-expressed and elequent
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3/18/2011 7:03:44 AM
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It affects everyone
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A beautiful cause destroys everything.
Forget.
growth.
hate.
innocence, just known, lost.
more,
new
ostracised.
people, quarantined, rejected severely.
torn
unimportant
vacant
with xenophobic zealotry.
edited by mrzcheekerz on 3/21/2011
edited by mrzcheekerz on 3/21/2011
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3/18/2011 7:04:13 AM
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it affects everyone
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A beatiful cause destroys everything.
Forget.
growth.
hate.
innocence, just known, lost.
more,
new
ostracised.
people, quarantined, rejected severely.
torn
unimportant
vacant
with xenophobic zealocy.
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3/22/2011 2:36:29 PM
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Hey everyone... New kid in class... lol
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yea... nice to meet you Lucas... welcome... lol and as for being prevailing commentator, i think not... if you read other peoples poems and comment they will return the favor
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3/22/2011 2:41:59 PM
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Blades dance.
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i love your venacular... simply wonderful
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3/24/2011 6:12:57 AM
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Hey everyone... New kid in class... lol
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thanks...
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3/24/2011 7:34:26 AM
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Severe Pain
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what exactly is pain? a question that's been bumming me out forever... i know emotional pain, i lived it everyday for seven years. six of those years i was sexually abused (since i was 5) and the last two, i was verbally abused by my mother for having not told her about the sexual abuse (by her younger brother) I'm comepletely over it, at least i think i am, but some days i just have a sinking devastaiting pain.... why? whats the point
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3/25/2011 7:40:03 AM
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Blades dance.
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be careful when your using it though... in this piece it added just the right amount of mystique to the message but in other pieces that have a less fairytale sort of approach it could overcrowd the message, i'm going to check ou the rest of your poems... maybe you could give me a little feedback on mine?
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4/1/2011 6:30:24 AM
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HEROES
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you might want to edit this poem... i like the theme but your delivery is a bit weak. using words like thou and phrases like waiting are we requires for you to either transform the entire poem into the shakespearean era or put them together in a way that make them seem as though they belong.
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4/1/2011 6:39:03 AM
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Love's Coup De Grat
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make sure that your using the words in contxt.... i understand the last line but wld th nxt guy
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4/1/2011 6:40:52 AM
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Young poets?
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fifteen... wats up... check out some of my work?
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4/1/2011 6:42:49 AM
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Young poets?
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hey... seeing that there aren't that many of us... maybe we should just keep up with each other
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4/1/2011 2:36:29 PM
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New In Here!!
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hey... watz up
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4/1/2011 2:37:51 PM
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In Honor of National Poetry Month (April)
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having my annual poetry party in Georgia
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4/1/2011 2:40:31 PM
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Save Me Thanks for any critique you can offer
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try to keep the stanza pattern matching... love the creativity and rhyming but be careful because too much will come off as if you're trying too hard... the repetition also is perfect. be careful that your message is taken the right way because at the beginning the first stanza had me under the impression that the person asking to be saved was trapped in a nightmare...
edited by mrzcheekerz on 4/1/2011
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4/1/2011 2:50:16 PM
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Oscillation in a static realm. Please critique
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i somewhat agree with Aron... some of the poems are a bit hard to understand but i like that... i can interpret it anyway i want. not sure if that is what you're aiming for but it works
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