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Forum Home » High Critique » In The Dark Ghost Room

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/22/2011 5:17:06 AM

Timothy Abegunde
Posts: 2
I think I feel a breeze

A breeze and a touch of horror

Something makes my breath seize

The stings of inner torture




The beast of the dark just passes

I hear the pings of its awfulness

Horrible snuffs complementing terrible masses

Something grip me here – oh fearfulness!




Now what – silence…

The quietness of the graveyard

I sense trouble in disguise

Only that worse turns bad




Oh wait, I can see

Slow approaches of eye balls

The burning eyes of the black beast

Monster, you, coming for me or my pulse




This is it my adventure fiasco

In the ever-dark ghost room

I would rather die like a hero

Behind this locked door with my rheum




As I’ll lay my back on this door

Oh beast feast, on me feast

I can hear quacks as I fall

…the door open at least




Massacre! Oh massacre of the beast

Sun ray-the enemy of the dark monster

Came in for its burnt feast

Because the door opened
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