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7/7/2016 12:22:09 PM

Caleb Lawrence
Posts: 2

Looking for feedback and constructive criticism on the first poem I wrote. I'm mostly happy with how it turned out. Let me know what you guys think.

Fire, the breath of the mountain

Ice, the coldness hidden within

Intertwining together throughout the ages

Twisting and turning, the fire flickers

Still and solid, the ice waits

Opposites, yet the truth lies within

Mountains, seemingly the only place

Where the two can co-exist

Yet reality tells another story

Within each of us,

Lies the real fire and ice

Fiery passions, within us burn

Icy thoughts, hard and cold

Mind and heart

Heart and mind

Deeply hidden

Is the fire within the ice,

And the ice within the fire

Ruled by the heart

Or ruled by the mind

Rulers of each

Or Rulers of none.

Beware the one ruled by either

‘Tis not for man or woman

To be ruled

But for man and woman

To rule themselves

Emotion, human and warm

Logic, hard and cold

To be ruled by emotion

Is to risk being burned

To be ruled by logic

Is to risk a frozen heart

Balance in nature

Balance within

Find the fire within the ice

And the ice within the fire

Controlling both

Only then will we find ourselves.
edited by blissymouse on 7/7/2016

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