Poetry Forum
12/15/2014 6:27:53 PM
Graphite Drug
Posts: 81
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Don't know how long it took you to write this, but it is humorous and fun. You should pick at it a bit more. For "sacrificing young widows on fire" try "sacrificing young widows with fire"
For "Or gathering twelve youngsters And having a campfire" try "And gathering a host of youngsters around a campfire"
Simple changes, but one word can make a lot of difference. Keep picking and experimenting. It can only get better.
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