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Forum Home » High Critique » A SHIP IS SINKING

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/25/2010 2:32:16 PM

valeria iliadou
Posts: 13
A ship is sinking in the middle of a wave,

For the mystery of the sea to embrace.

Spring is melting with the air fatal and brave,

As bright is the dream that poets need to chase.

O, my love for thee is the ship that sinks

As my sun and my moon to thee devoted are.

Thy tears can solve the enigma of the sphinx

Those waves of solitude are lost in thy star.

As King I lay down my crown and as Queen my fear,

Defeat I can not accept mine rests the fate.

Time's corruption travels much, yet is so near

For the naked, cold tree Spring may be too late.

Shall I forget thy eyes reflection on my void?

Above us stand the bridges no one destroyed.
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