Poetry Forum
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7/26/2010 7:03:39 AM
Suresh Babu Palani
Posts: 2
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From crown, falls the stream,
The stream of greedy dreams,
Which making its own way
Flows all night and day.
It washes away the weak sand
And overflows the small pebbles,
But narrows itself amidst
Huge rocks and hills.
It flows among crops and trees
And also among no use weeds.
It grows by length and breadth
And tries to drown the whole earth.
Alas! The end comes its way
As it mingles with the bay.
The dreams get lost in the sea so vast
Made of many dreams so lost.
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9/8/2010 6:42:30 PM
John Taylor
Posts: 6
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My only suggestion is punctuation related: I think if you put commas on both sides of the phrase "...making its own way...", it would help the continuity of flow for the reader. I enjoyed the piece though. Great concept. I hope you find my suggestion useful.
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