Poetry Forum
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/19/2014 9:30:01 PM
Gabe Shelly Posts: 95
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In Death we become something more...
A rebirth of sorts where we are born again
Just as babes frail and weak in their new skin;
And as we are remembered we grow...
And grow...
Till those who recall are no longer.
But by then we are immortal
For we have become the grass and a part of the rest of you
1/17/'14
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2/14/2014 11:29:33 PM
Huberta van Akkeren Posts: 4
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Hi Gabe, I really like this poem, i like the way it portrays death as a new beginning and how we live and grow in the memories of our loved ones. Not sure if this is the correct way to reply as it is my first time...i am afraid i have nothing critical to say...and that says it all H
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2/28/2014 8:33:20 AM
Gabe Shelly Posts: 95
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Thanks for the review, I appreciate it. Sorry, I haven't replied sooner, but I have been busy with other things. I just want people to understand that as some religions teach us when we die we only change from one state of being to another...thus we are never truly dead and gone. Thanks again for your kind words -- gabe
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3/30/2014 9:39:57 AM
Amy Green Posts: 8
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This is well written except for the end, 'For we have become the grass and a part of the rest of you' I understand what you mean but it throws the poem off balance and really does not belong.
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