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10/26/2013 7:55:42 PM Gabe Shelly Posts: 95	They are the sun-- Hurting you with but a look-- Bewitching as the red rays of the morning dawn. With only a glance Cupid is your victor-- Many times the better of even the mighty Zeus-- Alas so painful is their beauty... So hypnotizing... They are a slayer of men and women alike. For so powerful be their attraction that like the Sirens of old To linger upon would be thy doom-- A gift from the gods...a gift of Aphrodite... And a curse of Fantasia, Gigantomastia edited by Gabe on 10/26/2013 edited by Gabe on 10/26/2013 edited by Gabe on 10/26/2013
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10/27/2013 12:36:27 PM Just That Archaic Poet Posts: 89	Hi, Gabe. I must confess that I do not know or understand what this poem is about so it makes it a bit more difficult to offer "high critique". I must say though I really enjoyed your mythological references; I'm a total sucker for them. I like this poem, despite not really knowing what it's about. The only things I would consider changing is line 5. What about something along the lines of "Many times mightier than the thunderous Zeus". And in line 9, I would change "be" to "is". The line "And a curse of Fantasia" was confusing to me; I don't really think it fits in with the mythological references. I had to look up "Gigantomastia" and seems to be a medical term and condition and didn't see the connection there, either. Since your mythological references are primarily Greek, I would also change "Cupid" to Eros as that was his name in Greek. Hope this was helpful in some way edited by JustLivingLies on 10/27/2013 edited by JustLivingLies on 10/27/2013
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10/27/2013 9:19:55 PM Gabe Shelly Posts: 95	I'll be blunt, it's about boobs-- specifically hypertrophy of the breast.
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10/28/2013 12:00:25 PM Just That Archaic Poet Posts: 89	lol Well, I'm gay, Gabe, so boobies are not something to which I relate or understand too well xD Now that I get it, I enjoy the poem even more. I still advise the revisions I mentioned, but you've got a great lil tribute piece here to bosoms edited by JustLivingLies on 10/28/2013 edited by JustLivingLies on 10/28/2013
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