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For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
10/6/2013 12:07:29 AM

Timothy Aull
Posts: 3
This is just a hastily thrown together free verse by some one who doesn't write much. Just interested really if it says anything to anyone but me? Please let me know what you get from it if anything, the good, the bad and the ugly. Thanks


Lost
Lost in thought.
Lost in prayer.
Lost in life.
I know not where I am going.
I know not why I care.
Who can know what tomorrow brings.
Who can foretell the future.
No one can for sure.
Not I.
No Not I.
All that I know is that I am lost.
And find the words I know to be inadequate to tell.
To tell you how I feel.
To tell you how I care.
I can only hope my prayers will reach you.
I can only dream that you'll understand.
For if I am lost you'll find me.
For that is what you promised you would do.
I believe you'll keep your promise.
Because you have before.
I will close my eyes now.
And rest in fact that when you find me.
I am lost.
Lost no more.
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10/7/2013 11:16:11 AM

Just That Archaic Poet
Posts: 89
As I have stated elsewhere, I am no authority or expert on "free-verse" ("rhyme" being my forte). I have written very few and what you have written here reminds me a great deal of some of my own work. You are conveying and expressing universal sentiments of the human condition, to which I think most of us can relate. I find no flaw or fault in this piece; I like it just the way it is. I'm no fan of any "non-rhyming" style, but I identified with everything you are saying in this poem. I felt it was concise, succinct and to the point, and not too long and drawn out (I usually abhor long poems). All in all, I enjoyed this piece and think you did a good job, even if it was "hastily thrown together"
~JustThatArchaicPoet aka JustLivingLies
edited by JustLivingLies on 10/7/2013
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