Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Get Your Premium Membership

Poetry Forum

home recent topics recent posts search faq

Forum Home » High Critique » Shattered Girl -input, doesn't seem quite right

For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
1/12/2013 2:56:13 AM

Lynn Dolly
Posts: 133
You shattered my world
I was a sweet innocent girl
Thought my future was solid gold
Then you flushed my heart bitter cold
Went from a flow chart to a volcaniceruption
Minutes, days, weeks, it'll eventuallyeven out.
One mans laziness caused another manscorruption


When foundation crumbles
You constantly stumble
Balancing on floating ice
Pray for a solid double on those dice
Teased a lot by a half roll,
There's just so much I can't control


There's nothing more powerful than notbeing scared
Skepticism I've grown close to, afriendship hard to bear
Think of a million possibilities witheach choice
There's always going to be thatinternal voice
Why make it so hard?
One mans laziness is another manscorruption
That someone else will take care of me,
I'll never jump to that assumption


Gets harder and harder,
Then easier and easier
Harder and harder
Then easier and easier


All that matters is how I spend my timenow
What I do now will help my futuresomehow
Where will I be in five years?
Have no idea
Asked me that a lot when I was younger,
Always had an answer
But back then
I was just a kid


Love, what's love your asked?
You lectured so many times
I'll put it on repeat along side alaugh track
Love is opposite you
It's opposite everything you do
Trying to deal with real love
That's truly far and above
Anything you can comprehend.


You taught me the greatest in life
Concentrate on the good,
Keep your head up with pride
Conquer the madness by ignoring it
Do positive things to destroy it
permalink • reply with quote

Forum Home » High Critique » Shattered Girl -input, doesn't seem quite right




Powered by AspNetForum 6.6.0.0 © 2006-2010 Jitbit Software