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1/4/2013 4:48:57 AM Lynn Dolly Posts: 133	It's become a dead end When he should be your best friend She's in the room on the couch Across starring at dos grouch Not once, Not twice, Not three times when she asks, I realize an apology to me isn'tsomething you grasp.. Cant bring myself to look at you I've let you destroy me My blood gets weaker Each time you speak of her Thats what sucks about a dead end You want to keep going Our situation is something you'll nevermend I'll just beat this steering wheelinstead. At least it wont fight back My self esteem wont be attacked Just my tear ducks Totally sucks Your not worth it Wish you were a fly I'd smash you with chop sticks
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2/27/2013 8:06:52 PM Richard D Seal Posts: 1	Spelling mistakes immediately spoil this work, not sure what 'dos grouch' is suppose to mean, 'tear ducks', should be tear ducts. Spacings are missing between words which does not help. The layout is very scattered, three four line stanzas and then a huge block, 'Not once, not twice should be on a single line. The story I get, but the end is just wishful thinking, consider how much better it would be if you attacked his ego. Regards Richard
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