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A CLOSER LOOK AT PUNCTUATION. SOME, PLENTY, NONE. - Cyndi Macmillan's Blog

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Cyndi MacMillan lives in a small town in Ontario that is home to North America’s largest working waterwheel. Her writing has appeared in notable Canadian literary journals and local newspapers. 

A Cruel Light is her debut gothic mystery (4/4/2023). She has been a Jill-of-all-trades, but for as long as she can remember, she has dreamt of being a novelist.  Hard work and the wonderful team at Crooked Lane Books have made that dream a reality.  Please note that her husband and daughter kindly keep her coffee mug filled when she is wrestling with a suspenseful chapter.   During a pandemic lockdown, the family adopted a rescue cat who chirps. 

When not writing, Cyndi enjoys reading Gothics, scrapbooking, and losing horribly at board games.  Works-in-progress include the second (and third) Annora Garde Mystery, a Canadian noir series, and a standalone horror mystery, so more often than not, Cyndi is writing.  She is a member of Crime Writers of Canada.

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A CLOSER LOOK AT PUNCTUATION. SOME, PLENTY, NONE.

Blog Posted:5/25/2015 10:05:00 PM

                                 

 

The use of punctuation in poetry continues to be a very personal choice for poets.  What I am seeing in most literary journals is that editors want to see not only consistency, but an intentional use — or intentional omission — of punctuation. 

Free verse allows for free voice and free style. 

I thought I’d share ja few excerpts of published poems and showcase how they used punctuation effectively. 

The following excerpts are for the intention of study, review and educational purposes only.

 

Jean Meets Alice (excerpt)

By Barry Butson

Published in the Antigonish Review, Winter 2015

 

My brother-in-law Wayne, (who is not Jean’s husband)

is present and says, Who’s Alice Munroe?

 

I say, Jean just shook the hand

that writes the world’s best short stories

 

Wayne’s wife, Karen, says

What does she write, historical novels?

Or hysterical ones? jokes Wayne

 

I say fiercely, No, she ... she writes

about real people

 

Okay, so let’s look closely at this.  The only end punctuation is a question mark. No periods.  The very last line (not shown here) also has no punctuation.

The theme of this poem is confusion.  The poet is confused by the confusion. (Ha!)  So, she makes good use of the question mark. She wants that question mark to stand out, to be a focal point, so much so that she uses a lower case j after one question mark to make it even more glaring.

She uses an ellipsis as a stutter. It is the only ellipsis in the entire poem. Had there been more than one, that stammer, that she/she would have lost its impact.

___________

Blind in the Summoner’s Arms

By Patrick Friesen

Published in the Malahat Review, Spring 2011

 

He stumbled down the stairs

into the garden of eyes

 

leaving the stone wall’s shade

he slid through a fence and came upon the cedar

 

a dream of hanging ladders of fire

and fearing the wordless night ahead

 

The pace here is frantic, nightmarish.  The poet uses no punctuation in this verse.  Punctuation slows pace. A comma within a line is a quick pause.  A comma at the end of a line is a slower pause.  A comma between stanzas is a long pause.  A period works the same way, but because a period is a full stop, it creates a longer pause than a comma.  Removing all punctuation really can work well, especially when the PACING of your poem is frantic, stressed, angry.  

 

______________________

 

Sublet in the City (excerpt)

By Patricia Young

Published in the Fiddlehead, Summer 2014

 

 

thousands of half-naked apartment-

dwellers swarmed the beach,

gazing up at the sky. All summer

the forests of Siberia burned

spewing particulate matter across the ocean,

and the sunsets ... the sunsets

 

were stunning. Mornings I smiled

at the Korean woman who weighed

my daily measure of cherries

but she never smiled back.

Men of all ages pushed grocery

carts through the back alley,

 

This poet has wisely chosen to keep full stops within lines.  She is controlling the pacing by leaving punctuation off the end of stanzas and her enjambment runs from stanza to stanza, causing the reader to RUSH towards the next stanza.  An effective use of a period/pause is to allow the reader to pause when the subjects are actually pausing, too.  The people on the beach are looking up at the sky, relaxing.  There is a period after sky.  We are, in effect, allowed to ponder that sky, too.  Then, the pacing picks up, a bit.  Again, this poet uses an ellipsis, not only to show a stretch of time, but a bridge (a physical bridge) between repetition. It is effective. This poet also only used one ellipsis.  A second would have ruined this effect.

___________________

Some free verse poets also like to play with the mental image of punctuation, use it as a kind of intellectual echo of what is being written.

Here. One of my poems. Again, just an excerpt.

 

Eulogy for the Eldon Gallery

By Cyndi MacMillan

 

Dark, now, halls that sheltered

dreamscapes, art undisciplined, squeezed

into corners, elbowing for attention.

I ache

                                for one dove

 

that clung to an azure sky,

the coo of my name,

but I'd been unable to take him home

to my cube cage. He deserved

a rectory or a view that would provide

sanctuary. His wings had beat against

pulse points; one feather

tickled a memory

 

of a robin that aimed

for a cloudless sky but

collided with a picture window — 

its point of contact left a scarlet smear.

Grandmother carefully wrapped

the corpse in yesterday’s news.

 

I intentionally used the emdash where I did. It is not simply used for grammatical reasons,  I am also mentally projecting the moment of impact, the blood smear, by using an emdash. Right. There. 

It can be very effective to use punctuation this way. 

Here, I’ll show you another where an emdash was used with this kind of “subliminal?” intent. 

 

A note on the unnamed subjects respiratory illness (except)

by Natalie Morill

 

And among the things she counts

an evening coughing blood

under a hot shower —

 

and truly:

there was a peculiar relief,

 

This is two stanzas. The poem is just three stanzas long and does not contain a period. No full stop.  Because this illness never fully stops.

Now, check out the uber cool emdash.... after hot shower... shower ... a spray of water... a spray... like that dash, yes?

Some poets actually use punctuation AS poetry

Check out this incredible poem: 

http://www.contemporaryverse2.ca/en/poetry/excerpt/elegy-for-my-fathers-labour

 

The trick is to use all punctuation with both an understanding of its grammatical relevance AND its conceptual signifance.  Learning both usages will enhance your poetry and put YOU in the diver's seat.

Cheers!

Cyndi

 

 

 



Please Login to post a comment
Date: 5/26/2015 4:46:00 PM
Diane, sorry, I have been a "busy camper" this afternoon and haven't been in for a bit. First, we never write our FIRST VERSION of a poem while worrying about anything! We let it flow; though, I will say, the more familiar you become with devices or trope, the more things just seem to 'naturally' appear in your work. THEN, we revise. We add. We take away. We move lines. We change lines. Sometimes I revise a poem a dozen times! Seriously! I can make over a hundred edits. I read an interview recently (grrr I thought I faved it) and the poet said, it can take up to four months for him to "finish" ONE poem. Extreme? Maybe. I guess what I'm saying is never stop the flow... write, then edit.
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Richards Avatar
Carrie Richards
Date: 5/26/2015 6:47:00 PM
My kids now accuse me, of while they were growing up, I was always using spit to tidy their hair.....was never satisfied, even after they were all dressed up! I still do that to my poems...a little spit and polish, never hurts.....(my motto for poetry, as well !!) !!!!
Macmillan Avatar
Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 5/26/2015 4:59:00 PM
Carrie:) !!!! Ha ha! There is a quote out there that a poem is never finished, only abandoned. We get that! Mwah!
Macmillan Avatar
Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 5/26/2015 4:58:00 PM
PS Nice lady, I have been writing poetry since I could spell "love". I was 44 when I joined Soup, 4 years ago. Two years ago, I started to explore free verse and contemporary sonnets. One year ago, I started to spend hours studying poetry and trying to get published. I'm still learning and will be published this June.
Richards Avatar
Carrie Richards
Date: 5/26/2015 4:57:00 PM
I revise, revise, revise !! I have often wondered if it hampers my chances, and annoys the heck out of a sponsor, when I revise a poem that I have entered a contest, or if they notice that much. I will go back and revise a poem written months or years ago. I am never satisfied!
Date: 5/26/2015 3:17:00 PM
Wow........I love these examples. When emphasis is directed by the whims of the author, rather than proper grammatical schemes! I know some will disagree, especially those who believe in proper grammar in all instances. But as a free-style poet, and a free spirited poet, I would usually prefer to punctuate, where I hope to pause the reader (if just for a split-second)... rather than only where it is considered proper or not. It is just the way if feels as the writer. Perhaps unprofessional of me, but just like to write them the way I feel them. :) Thanks for the discussion, Cyndi.
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Macmillan Avatar
Cyndi Macmillan
Date: 5/26/2015 4:48:00 PM
I like grammar, but it is fun to try on different hats :D I love how the poet above opted to use a lowercase "j" though for syntax, an uppercase should have been used. All so the question mark would not be "hidden" behind an uppercase (at least that is what I see)
Date: 5/26/2015 2:05:00 PM
This is all perplexing to me; when writing as a new poet. I read, one is to: just write out your thoughts and don't stop to analyze! Thoughts get lost! O.K. I understand this, as I am always too long (in the 'mouth)' when given to write, speak or answer/reply in manners of my making a statement. Am I developing as a poet, my 'personal' style...or am I 'just' illiterately naive showing 'lack or there of) in 'my' grammar and sentence structure ? I find that it may not be correctable--- being long (in the tooth) and 'time' is at a' minimal' agenda... the 'poet in me' does need to escape and therefore, I will admit 'perhaps' my courage has been a little bit too stated--- but I do learn!
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Quinlan Avatar
Diane M Quinlan
Date: 5/26/2015 4:01:00 PM
Thank you, being a senior citizen and not a horse out to pasture---I take this as food for thought. Thinking, yes you just might be right on with 'afraid to fall'.. a bit or over bit---time will tell. But I think more as a (pre teen) does...in trying ' it' out first handed! Me, afraid to what people will think, yes that too. Me as a person trying to be a poet or me as a poet trying to personalize with too many words? Always will be a question in my mind...Thank you that! Enjoyed reading this and of course will strive to be active in word-works, thought and mind---always!
Quinlan Avatar
Diane M Quinlan
Date: 5/26/2015 3:57:00 PM
Thank you, being a senior citizen and not a horse out to pasture---I take this as food for thought. Thinking, yes you just might be right on with 'afraid to fall'.. a bit or over bit---time will tell. But I think more as a (pre-teen) does...to try it out first handed! Me, afraid to what people will think, yes that too. Me as a person trying to be a poet or me as a poet trying to personalize with too many words? Always will be a question in my mind...Thank you that! Enjoyed reading this and of course will strive to be active in work thought and mind---always!

My Past Blog Posts

 
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POETRY PUB: EMOTIVE. READ AND BLEED.****EDIT*****MORE ON THE POEM GRIEF!
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POET PUB: LET THERE BE LIGHT... (and poetics, friendly disagreements, shared observations and hot apple cider...)
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5 PROOF BLOG. IF YOU ENTERED A POEM, PLEASE READ THIS. JOIN IN ON THE DISCUSSION.
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POET PUB, TONIGHT'S SPECIAL: EXTRA TENDER, EASY TO DIGEST
Date Posted: 1/25/2016 9:40:00 PM
THE POET PUB, GRAND OPENING, NO WIFI, WARM SEATS
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CONTEST: 5 PROOF: FREE VERSE THAT SHOWS IT AIN'T NO PROSE
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A CLOSER LOOK AT PUNCTUATION. SOME, PLENTY, NONE.
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WORK WORK WORK! WAY TO GO! AND HOW TO USE AN ELLIPSIS.
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7/25/2023 The Library's Book Sonnetemotions,feelings,poems,p
9/20/2018 The Yield Free versemoving on,peace,sleep,
10/20/2017 Dinner Guest: Me Free verseemotions,longing,rude,
9/20/2017 Toothsome Free verselife,poetry,writing,
9/5/2017 The San Antonio Night Crossing Free versechange,death,immigration,
8/23/2017 Turning the Other Cheek Free versechristian,hate,people,
8/16/2017 Whatever Happened To the Real Poets Free versepoetry,political,society,
6/18/2017 Fetal Position In the Er Sestinadeath,heartbreak,my child
6/7/2017 Well Understood Free versefeelings,language,people,
6/4/2017 I'D Rather Write About Free versepoetry,writing,,memorial,
5/19/2017 The Palm-Chats of Jalousie, Haiti Free verseanalogy,bird,humanity,lif
5/4/2017 Water, Water Free verseafrica,sympathy,
11/18/2016 We, Nasty Women Ekphrasisallegory,history,politica
5/22/2016 The Chronicles of a Phonophobic Free versefear,life,people,
5/6/2015 Tail Spin, Revised Free versecourage,fear,love hurts,
11/10/2014 Chan Free versefriend,goodbye,
1/31/2014 Journey Companions: the Friend Sonnets Part Ii Sonnetfriend,hero,places,poetry
1/29/2014 Divine Steeples Sonnetfriend,love,places,poetry
1/26/2014 Muse Sonnetfriend,love,places,poetry

My Photos


Fav Poems

PoemTitleFormCategories
The Sowing Free versedevotion,
Ten Little Toes Rhymedaughter,lifeold,old,gran
Woodland Rhapsody Quatraininspirational,
Contradicting Keats Sonnetintrospection,life
Surrender To Love Rhymeloveme,
A Totum Pole Ode Concretenative american,people,
More Dreams To Row Rhymeinspirational,life,
When the Tab Comes Due Free verseinspirational,introspecti
Lighting My Candle From Within Quintain (English)caregiving,introspection,
The Kirk By the Sea Coupletnostalgia,religion,love,
Moonlight on the Ward Chokahealth,life,
Nocturnal Poetry Rhymeimagination,life,poetry,
Slumber Epicdedication,slam,
Frosty Night Stroll Coupletinspirational,seasons,
Our Thanksgiving Light Verseholiday,
My Country 'Tis of Thee Ethereepeace,
When Your Dead Your Dead Rhymefriendship,love,wife,
Down Fall Italian Sonnetbeautiful,miracle,nature,
A New Star Shines Above Hawaii Rhymededication,music,
Monarch of Summer Haibunanimals,devotion,inspirat
Chamber Music Chopped Blank versemusic,
Untouched Rhymeforgiveness,me,me,
Beaucoup Blooms Terza Rimanature,spring,spring,
On Heaven's Doorway Narrativeinspirational,life,care,c
Walking On Faith Versefaith,children,
Sleepless Nights Narrativeangst,imagination,mystery
God Forbid Coupletangst,devotion,write,life
After My Prayer Haikuinspirational,
Another Face Rhymelost love,
Paired Parings Balladchildhood,
Friend To Friend Haikupeople,philosophy,
Cherished Sonnetlove,peace,
Calligraphy Verseon writing and words,
To Kashinath and Cyndi Rhymededication,devotion,frien
Cyndi Sonnetdedication,
Night Comes Rhymetime,
Without Hope's Gleam Terzanelleflower,hope,joy,paradise,
Onward Christian Soldiers Rhyme 
Bliss State Quatrainfaith,
In Stillness Free versechange,life,
Westward Movement Free versedevotion,love,peace,
The Rocking Chair Rhymechild,christmas,sister,
Release Free verseencouraging,grief,hope,st
A Tribute To Leonora G Dramatic Versedeath,deep,evil,sorrow,st
In the Mood Light Verseadventure,woman,
Beyond Tears Rhymechild,encouraging,hope,,L
To the Rescue Rhymesnow,
Dewberry Cobbler Haibungrowing up,
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis Epicabuse,analogy,art,corrupt
To Love Myself Sonnetlove,new year,self,
The Byway Rhymecare,
Within Reason- Maurice Yvonne and Seren Roberts Verselife,
Candles of Your Fingers Light Versedeath,memory,missing you,
The Skeletons and Songs of Samsara - 1 Crown of Sonnetsbirth,death,life,
Softly Sonnetpoetry,
Inner City Free versecity,
My Own Way Free verseadventure,life,self,

Fav Poets

PoetCountry 
Debbie Guzzi United States Flag United States Read
Caryl Muzzey United States Flag United States Read
Joe Flach United States Flag United States Read
Nette Onclaud Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Poet Tacito United States Flag United States Read
Elizabeth Wesley Canada Flag Canada Read
Rhonda Johnson-Saunders United States Flag United States Read
Carrie Richards United States Flag United States Read
Kathryn Collins United States Flag United States Read
David Williams United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Charmaine Chircop Malta Flag Malta Read
Francine Roberts Canada Flag Canada Read
Faye Gibson United States Flag United States Read
Hannington Mumo Kenya Flag Kenya Read
Lora Robinson United States Flag United States Read
John Lawless United States Flag United States Read
Kabuteng P.Ink K. Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Roy Jerden United States Flag United States Read
Anthony Mark United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Brian Strand United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Olive Eloisa Guillermo - Fraser Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Charlotte Puddifoot United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Joann Grisetti United States Flag United States Read
Painted Hunter United States Flag United States Read
Connie Marcum Wong United States Flag United States Read
Tim Ryerson United States Flag United States Read
Olusegun Arowolo Nigeria Flag Nigeria Read
Becca Teagan United States Flag United States Read
Royal Ninja United States Flag United States Read
Justin Bordner United States Flag United States Read
Garth Von Buchholz Canada Flag Canada Read
Jim Howe United States Flag United States Read
Shronda Wilson United States Flag United States Read
Sneha Rv India Flag India Read
Agnes Krampe United States Flag United States Read

Book: Shattered Sighs