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Spring Funnies - Debbie Guzzi's Blog

About Debbie Guzzi
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Deborah Guzzi writes fulltime. When not writing she’s reading. She travels for inspiration. Her new book The Hurricane is available now through Prolific Press. Her poetry appears in: Existere - Journal of Arts and Literature in Canada, Tincture in Australia, Cha: Asian Literary Review, Hong Kong, China, Eunoia in Singapore, Vine Leaves Literary Journal in Greece, and Ribbons: Tanka Society of America’s Journal, Sounding Review, Kyso Flash, The Aurorean, Crack the Spine Literary Magazine, Liquid Imagination, Concis, The Tishman Review, Page & Spine and others in the USA. 

Spring Funnies

Blog Posted:3/31/2013 8:53:00 AM

It's a LAW!

1.Law of Mechanical Repair -After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.

5.Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier will have to call for help.

6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics -The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11.. Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.

12. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

15. Law of Logical Argument-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

16. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

17. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.

18. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.

19. Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. This has been proven over and over with taking children to the pediatrician.

My favorite was LAW 16 ! How about you?

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  1. Date: 4/2/2013 6:35:00 PM
    well springs here andie maybe we can run some of the pounds off!

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  1. Date: 4/1/2013 2:28:00 PM
    Hi, Debs, I only have time to read the one you like best and that's a good one. I agree with you. All the best clothes are the ones too small!

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  1. Date: 4/1/2013 7:13:00 AM
    Dear Light & LOVE, Deborah. Hope this finds YOU and YOURS Healthy and High in the Spirit. I am debating between 4 & 5. I have had a cell phone for only 5 months and have dialed a few wrong numbers and always get an answer.If a call the right number I get a busy signal or a leave a message and we'll call YOU back. I go to the grocery store at 12:30, before the bars close and after the graveyard shift begins. there is always one person in front of me who picked up and item with no price on it."Manager to register 5 for a price check"Manager takes 10 minutes to get to the register then has to go to the aisle that the item is in come back to the register and end up buying spoiled milk.

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    Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi Date: 4/2/2013 6:34:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    what a story..I can just see you doing this! Hope you are feeling well.
  1. Date: 3/31/2013 10:48:00 PM
    I have met so many people who really apply to 15.

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 7:26:00 PM
    Nice to meet you Richard! You need a good strong magnet for your #2! Oh Jack..who have you been out with [peer]

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 4:29:00 PM
    LOL, yes, these are so true, Debs. I think no 8 is probably the one that had me nodding my head and laughing the loudest - but they were all spot on. Sod's Law, we say over here. Have a great Easter x

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 4:22:00 PM
    Deffo 1 and 2 for me, but thats just me age lol

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 3:12:00 PM
    No fair Craig you didn't reveal yourself by picking any?

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 12:07:00 PM
    There's a bit of truth is all of these. I can really relate to #s 2, 5, 6, and 19, but the one that aggravates me the most is #18. Happy Easter, Debbie!

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 11:35:00 AM
    Interesting how all of us pretty much so far like different ones! Yes happy SPRING the birth of nature

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 11:05:00 AM
    I like 4 and 14 . Happy Easter to you. Nice and sunny out today but cool. Supposed to snow this afternoon so will see. Have a wonderful day

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 10:24:00 AM
    Several including 1,8,totally relate to 11, and 16 haunts both my wife and I. Happy Easter and Thanks for the Smiles!

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  1. Date: 3/31/2013 10:00:00 AM
    Love them! 1, 3, 6, and 8 are so true (and hilarious!)

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    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 3/31/2013 10:01:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Have a Happy Easter and a Happy Spring day!
  1. Date: 3/31/2013 9:55:00 AM
    SSSOOO TRUE... LOL... Have a wonderful Easter!

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My Past Blog Posts

Shout out to my Students!
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Become Part of an Anthology!
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6 Days 6 Poets 6 SONNETS - Contest without FEE
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Biographies and Cover Letters Let's Get to Work
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THE TENTH POEM & stragelers
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Why Not Give Haibun Today a TRY
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Amazon Contest
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Wonderful, Wonderful Verses in the Retourne Contest
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Get By with a Little News from Your Friends
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Free Give Away
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Just another Clapper
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The Burnside Review - enjoy!
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How Many of These Have You Read
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Zero percent Acceptance Rate - This POET was ACCEPTED
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FRESH, uncommon use of VERBS and metaphor _ Try it You'll Like iT
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Audio Advertising
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Newly Published HARDCOVER BOOK including "famous Soupers"
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Wield your Words like a Sword
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My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
9/21/2016 Cairns Edge Lyricage,autumn,ocean,
9/10/2016 Prickly Heat Haibunlost love,
7/19/2016 Repeter Depuis le Debut Free verseart,marriage,
7/19/2016 It Is a Rose Sprung Free verseabuse,meaningful,race,rel
7/8/2016 The Sparrows of Dom St Peter Versechildren,faith,music,
5/13/2016 Golden Disks and Whale Clicks Free verseearth,eulogy,
5/1/2016 Cathedrale St Sauveur Aix en Provence, France Verseart,faith,
4/12/2016 Neap Tide Blank verseage,beauty,love,
4/2/2016 Red Sky over Cairo Free verseanxiety,fear,travel,
3/31/2016 Monet's Garden Villanelleart,travel,vacation,
1/31/2016 A Hail Mary Pass to the Twenty-First Century Free verseanger,angst,bullying,fear
1/31/2016 Breathless Prose Poetryhope,
1/29/2016 The Guardian at the Gate Ekphrasismyth,
1/16/2016 You Gotta Have Heart Ekphrasisart,
1/6/2016 Spectors of Doom Shapeangst,war,
1/5/2016 Blood Masks the Lea Rondeaudeath,war,
1/4/2016 A Swallows Tears Sonnetaddiction,suicide,
12/14/2015 A Blooded, Virgin, Night Free versepain,
12/5/2015 Madelaine's Chalice Versedevotion,love,
11/29/2015 Blessed Be Versenature,
11/29/2015 Ho-Ho-Ho Haibunholiday,
11/17/2015 Golden Disks and Whale Clicks Free versespace,
11/9/2015 Spare Change Coupletseasons,
10/29/2015 Cymbals of Winter Free verseurban,wind,winter,
10/28/2015 fingertips Haikusilence,
10/28/2015 a branch scrapes Haikufear,
10/28/2015 Death Undignified, Fort Laramie 1860 Sestinamemory,
10/27/2015 A Kneaded Life Haibunage,dream,love,
10/23/2015 The Sowing Free verseirony,violence,women,
10/21/2015 When Madness Rides on Moonlight Sestinaanxiety,art,depression,su
10/19/2015 St Brigids Well Sonnetchildren,spiritual,women,
10/13/2015 Lurkers at the Threshold Lovecraft Credited Verseanalogy,
10/12/2015 Gobsmacked Gams Terzanelleallegory,art,childhood,
10/12/2015 To Dumb to Lay Down Free verseallegory,
9/20/2015 verbous and obscure Blitzallusion,
9/11/2015 Put the Past Aside - The Dark Side of the Moon Versedepression,
8/23/2015 The Melting Pot Prosechildhood,
8/8/2015 howl beyond reason Blitzanalogy,crazy,word play,
8/7/2015 under and over Blitzfear,
8/5/2015 Vive la Liberte Free verseviolence,visionary,war,
8/3/2015 Underground Art Montmartre Free verseart,
7/23/2015 Maudlin Mary Ekphrasisallusion,symbolism,woman,
7/20/2015 Fire-Crackers Acrosticdeath,war,
7/20/2015 Mary's Shrift Free versedevotion,discrimination,
7/20/2015 Stoned Free verseanger,
7/20/2015 Top Dressing Free versespring,daffodils,
7/13/2015 Just Desserts and Appetizers Haibunboat,fun,summer,
7/7/2015 Brooding Rooted Free versebeauty,blessing,
6/26/2015 Summer Stews Sijofun,
6/19/2015 False Love Quintain (English)lost love,
6/14/2015 Risen from the Foam Ottava rimaallegory,beauty,love,
6/4/2015 Cling Sijoadventure,
5/14/2015 The Mirage Free versebeauty,family,
4/29/2015 A Day in the Life of a Bag of Potatoes Free versechange,
4/28/2015 Spider Robinson's Plug In Sijoaddiction,
4/27/2015 The Sandy Shoal Free versedeath,
4/26/2015 A Stream of Laughter Free versechildren,nature,
4/25/2015 Boxed In Free verseabsence,beauty,love,
4/21/2015 Pick Your Poison Acrosticabuse,death,
4/20/2015 The Tall Ships Burn Villanelleart,
4/19/2015 I, ICON Acrosticself,
4/17/2015 The Song of Deborah Bioallegory,
4/15/2015 Barred Camp Sonnetfunny,
4/15/2015 Cross Pollination Versefaith,nature,
4/13/2015 The Wayward Child Pantoumfairy,
4/12/2015 Straw Men Free verseallusion,planet,
4/5/2015 Elemental Answers to Being Verselife,
4/3/2015 Mother's Days Acrosticmother,
4/3/2015 A Crown of Thorns Crown of Sonnetsbeauty,betrayal,identity,
4/2/2015 Sun and Life Painting by Frida Kahlo 1947 Free verseart,
3/31/2015 AFI 9th Art Wave Tankaart,
3/31/2015 AFI TAG ART Tankaart,
3/28/2015 Van Gogh sans une Oreille Free verseart,
3/27/2015 School's Out Haibunkiss,snow,
3/21/2015 The Teetotaler Terzanellememory,
3/20/2015 The Sin and God Within Verseallusion,faith,forgivenes
3/20/2015 A Penny for My Thoughts Sonnetcreation,
3/18/2015 What Dreams Are Made Of Versefear,night,
3/15/2015 Steamers Free versesummer,
3/10/2015 A Mother Drawn Free versebeauty,birth,earth,faith,
3/9/2015 The Precipice Free verseart,
3/5/2015 The Score Free verseloneliness,night,
3/3/2015 Moonlight Serenade Haibunsensual,
3/1/2015 Trumpets of the Dawn Sonnetflower,
3/1/2015 Femme Fatales Balladbirth,mythology,woman,
2/28/2015 The Doldrums of March Free verseloneliness,daffodils,
2/26/2015 Death Tolls Free versebeach,beauty,bird,ocean,
2/24/2015 Forgotten Valentine Haibunsad,
2/21/2015 Ice Castings Pantoumbeauty,
2/20/2015 Amusing Free versemuse,
2/17/2015 Spring Forward Yowzzah Limerickfunny,
2/16/2015 Spring Forward Limerickhumorous,
2/14/2015 Sheet-Seeking Missiles Free verseabuse,
2/13/2015 The Bitter End of the Road Free versenature,
2/12/2015 Upon the Edges Shadows Fall Free verseart,
2/11/2015 Stygian Doubts-The Catacombs of Saint Francis, Lima, Peru Prose Poetryadventure,allusion,faith,
2/10/2015 Clipped Crops and Croquet Mallets Haibunbeauty,
2/9/2015 Walled In Free versememory,men,
2/8/2015 Blessed Be Balladeprincess,spring,symbolism
2/7/2015 Zakaria Free versefarm,men,

My Photos

Fav Poems

God Free verselife,mystery,
Hard Times Cowboycowboy-western,family,fun
For Things Once Counted Rhymeintrospection,loss,uplift
Petal Verselove,
Defender of the Wastes Free verseart,life,parody,world,
Birth Imagismchildhood,life
this is why i woo words Verseart,inspirational,philoso
Forbear Free versesad,
Belongings Rhymeloss,love,me,mother,
Gold Fever Free versefaithfaith,political,pers
Splattered I do not know?life
Echo Quatrainlost lovewords,love,
Bells (after Poe) Lyricpassion
Respectfully, Emily Dickinson Lyricintrospection
Give the End Back to the Beginning Free versededication,faithme,
The Bruised and Rotting Pear Coupletfaith,hope
fly Free verseanimals
ABC's for a Young Captain ABClife
Not Entirely About Living In New York Free verselifeworld,light,light,
Woodcutter I do not know?warold,old,
Dreams Free versefaith,forgiveness
A Feed of Chips Narrativefunny
Weep O Willows Versedeath
Harlem Blues Free verseblack-african amerchildre
Summers Everlasting Free versenostalgia
EASTER IVY Narrativefriendshipeaster,cousin,
End of days Rhymeinspirational,lifeme,war,
Past-Life Nightmare Narrativemystery,autumn,
I dream of you (to JEW) Free verseimagination,lovenight,swe
jellyfish back strophe Imagismallegory,nature,on writin
Disposable Wisdom Rhymeage,cat,life,wisdom,world
Loneliness Rhymeintrospection,life
Remission (In Memory of William Watt). Elegybrother,death,nostalgiawo
The Day That Died Forever Free verseadventure,angst,art,confu
Heritage Quatrainadventure,cowboy-western,
Summer Matinee Narrativebrother,me,
The Moon and I I do not know?hope,life,love,nature,pea
Seeking, Searching Free verseimaginationlove,
BEFORE SPRING CAME Narrativeadventure,animals,childho
Pledge Sonnetdevotion
Wild Cherries Free versechildhood,devotion,nature
Words from the Oracle Layallegory,philosophy
Science Free verse 
Mona Lisa resembles Chokaart
AND WITH MERRIEST SPIRIT Quintain (English)faith,father,holiday,insp
Cotton-Pickin' Paradise Versechildhood,life,nostalgia,
Where The Sycamore Grew Narrativeautumn,family,house,life,
Larks Free versedeath,devotion,imaginatio
Big Bang Limerickfunny,science,
winter (do not forget among the loss of flowers) me Free verse 
Let I do not know?loveme,me,
He Was Smoking Hot I do not know?funny
Alabaster Night Free versenature,planet,sea,
Haunted Orb Haikufantasy,nature
This Night Sonnet 
Tombstones & Teacups Rhymeallegory,childhood,death,
Today Not Tomorrow Free versededication,depression,gir
Years Of The Rose Free verselost love,loveday,
The Joy that Sweetly Stays Free verse 
Cinder Girl Rhyme 
Biography (Thesis Statement) Versehistory,life,philosophyli
Figure Fusion Verseart,sports
Dancing Bird - with video link Free verseanimals,introspection,nat
Poem for a sensuous poet Free versefantasy,on writing and wo
The Road Walked Down Through the Years Rhymelife,on writing and words
The Iceman Cometh! Rhymenostalgia
He says/ She says Narrativelife
I've seen so many Sonnetintrospectionnight,night,
Searching for Michelangelo Free verseart,hope,life,people,imag
Indifference Free verse 
realisation of self (War Child) Free verseme,me,
Reporting Live On The Soup (Colorado) Rhymefunnyme,me,
Late at night Lyricimaginationme,fear,me,
Reverencing Nature Balladfaith,naturenature,heart,
Dreams Coupletimagination
Simple Pleasures Rhymehappinesssummer,summer,
I Exist Pantoumintrospectionlife,me,
Leaving Madrid Blank versenostalgia,travel
Magnolia Song Free verselove,romance,
yellow bus roars through Haikuallegory,nature,places
Ethel's Remedies Rhymefunny,people
A Dream In The Mist Narrativefantasy,imagination,natur
volga 1 - 3 Prose Poetryfantasy
Mama's Cleaning Quatrainintrospection,life,mother
WAKING HEART'S VEINS Free verseangst,hope,
Revelation Free verseimagination,lifesong,epic
Sports Limerick Limerickfunny
Don't Come Free versedeath,lost love,me,
The Snowflake Italian Sonnetromance,
Jack Lyricintrospectionlife,
Night Visions Free verselost love,passion,
The Ghost That Travels Far Personificationnature
Kite Flying - Test Free verseallegory,art,imagination,
Dining with Crow Rhymeanimals
Beauty, yes Sijohope,imagination,philosop
Smart and Final Prose Prose Poetrypeoplepeople,red,city,peo
Tiger in the Sea Rispettoadventure,animals,seame,t
A Song of Michael's Rose Narrativeme,
Aspects Of Winter Free verseseasonsme,world,old,light
Where my True Love Lives - A Ballade Balladedeath,love,ocean,

Fav Poets

Carolyn Devonshire United States Flag United States Read
Carrie Richards United States Flag United States Read
Deirdre Omaidin Ireland Flag Ireland Read
Andrew Crisci United States Flag United States Read
Jim Fish United States Flag United States Read
Nigel Fawcett Italy Flag Italy Read
L'nass Shango United States Flag United States Read
Andrea Dietrich United States Flag United States Read
Robert L. Hinshaw United States Flag United States Read
Chris D. Aechtner Canada Flag Canada Read
nette onclaud Philippines Flag Philippines Read
Sidney Beck Russian Federation Flag Russian Federation Read
Sami Al-khalili Canada Flag Canada Read
Charlotte Jade Puddifoot United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Cyndi MacMillan Canada Flag Canada Read
T Wignesan _Not Listed Flag _Not Listed Read
Elaine George Canada Flag Canada Read
sharon Winter United States Flag United States Read
Michael Smith United States Flag United States Read
jack horne United Kingdom Flag United Kingdom Read
Ruben O. Argentina Flag Argentina Read
Paul Callus Malta Flag Malta Read
Charmaine Chircop Malta Flag Malta Read
James Marshall Goff United States Flag United States Read
Joann Grisetti United States Flag United States Read
Ravindra K Kapoor India Flag India Read
Olive Eloisa Fraser Philippines Flag Philippines Read
kathryn collins United States Flag United States Read
Teppo Gren Finland Flag Finland Read
Michael Jordan United States Flag United States Read