Your Baby Is Really Ugly

Written by: Elton Camp

Your Baby Is Really Ugly

By Elton Camp

At no time and in no way
Will anyone these words say

For electing to tell the truth
In such a case is too uncouth

Wise folks play the praise game
Even when the words sound lame

Tell the parents what they’d hear
Or never again, to them, come near

The baby’s head come to a point
And its nose looks out of joint

Plus, it is terribly cross-eyed
And couldn’t smile if it tried

There’s nothing that it can do
Except from its orifices spew

Spindly leg and undeveloped arm
Blue skin should sound an alarm

But if the truth you ever dare to tell
Expect to hear, “You can go to hell.”

If words you are compelled to utter,
“Oh, how cute,” you’d better mutter