Last To Say

Written by: Lisa Delva

Short breath no breath barely breathing
All the cuts on my wrists is what I'm seeing
I never though I'd take this fall
Treat my wrists like used rag doll
Pop pill after pill until I hit four
Then my cold lifeless body went and hit the floor
Then my rush starts to peak like a summit
Then to the floor everything from my stomach
Now I lay on a vomit filled floor
Thinking like why did I do this for?
Got up grabbed the noose grabbed a chair
This is it no more cares
I wish all my friends they could see
Why didn't you fight for me
All I needed was a helping hand
Not a push from you into the sand
And damn the day that those mother****ers found me
Laying on the floor with a pool of blood around me
I dared to look into the eyes of no one when I woke up
I had too much shame, and my pride? Whooooooo
When I woke I cried because I wasn't dead
It just always reminded me
Even in committing suicide I was a failure
All those kids were right
I thought after 19 times that death was imminent
I looked for death but it never came

I don't recall much after, but something about being in and out of rehab made me decide to live
So I searched for life, and EVERYWHERE I looked, I found it. So I chose life, and I don't regret it. Because hey sometimes 19 times is the charm.