Surviving Life

Written by: Grushen Guazon

The water felt good.
I fell from where I stood.
Knees are both weak;
Been under a spell for a week.
Now that it was broken,
I'm left shaken.
In the water I sunk,
Letting my body get drunk.
I needed some more;
I wanted so much more.
Took the dose
Until I overdose.
It started with one,
Now I'm never done.
It takes everything away.
Leaving me numb for a day.
Forgetting the pain,
Happiness, I hope to gain.
In my mind was a vast space
Couldn't remember my own face.
I felt so very high
Not thinking it was all a lie.
Believed I am free,
That my troubles had let me be.
I took every pill
Until I lost my own will.
A friend is what it seemed
In a promise of bliss it beemed.
I couldn't accept my fate
And for a time I lost my faith.
That night, in the hotel room;
And after, in every other room.
Over and over --
Til I could no longer remember
How it felt to be pure;
Or if I ever was, I wasn't sure.
Touch that made my skin crawl
Stares that made me feel small.
I wanted to forget and not feel
Hoping nothing's real.
I let myself drown in ecstasy
For a while I lived in a fantasy.
Until one day,
In the middle of all the dissarray,
I saw the son I hold dear
In his eyes there's only fear.
I knew then for a time I was lost,
His fears touched me the most.
I had to do something
For him I'd do anything.
I took the easy way out,
This I knew without a doubt.
So I took each pill
Flushed it down as I stood still.
I know I will get better
For my son deserves better.