Bad Romantic Deception

Written by: Ashley Petersen

there once was a boy I thought I loved
in my mind i kept him above

all my thoughts he was there
but his love I did not share

I couldn't tell him how I felt
with the pain he could not have dealt

my mother predicted my downfall 
and yet that was not the worst to befall

the fact that I knew what I had done
was still not enough to make me run

I’ll break his heart and cause him pain
that’s how I know that I am vain

to end it would relieve my doubt
that in his world I should be without

I may be just a girl of words
who wishes she would just be heard

but through these words I can express
all my sins I will confess

all the wrongs I have admitted
are few compared to the many I have committed

I know I’m wrong and what is right
yet i cannot seem to find the light

if you were to look inside
confidence you would not find

for all along I have degraded
myself in ways so as not to be persuaded

if you read this feel my pain
but know you are not to blame

I am the cause for my own hurt
but I hope I can someday reassert 

myself into society
be the girl I wish to be

I doubt this will happen very soon
for things like that happen once in a blue moon

but maybe someday I will see
the thing that will lead me to be free