F, 20-ish, GSOH, WLTM

Written by: Jodie Williams

 
I'm going to have to lie.
Can't admit I'm desperate
I'll say I have an "open mind"
I hope this photo makes them think
I'm under twenty five
Can't tell about the happy pills
I'll state "contagious smile"

Or should I be honest?
"Party girl who likes to drink
until she swims in vomit
Seeks like-minded, big ol' man
Lazy, low attention span,
facial spots, some teeth missing
undeniable penchant for whistling
Must be fun, must be flirty,
must be black belt in karate"

No.

"Voluptuous blonde,
gold digger, white trash
loves nothing more than smoking hash
looking for a loving man
who disregards my hoarse moustache"

Bwaahhh
This is hopeless, this is lame
Cant compete in this dating game
No-one will ever want me 
When all I can offer is honesty....

"Are you looking for a fun loving, beautiful intelligent female who's wild in bed?
Well, good luck!!"