The Struggle

Written by: Evan Perkins

The Struggle

It seems like there’s a war waging on my inside
With all these things like lust, fame, and pride
It’s like these things are eating me alive
They feed on my insecurity and continue to thrive
I always feel so helpless, I’m just so weak
I need to connect to another power source, my plan needs to tweak
I can’t do it by myself, I’m simply not enough
Without outside help, I’m left alone to fight all this stuff
I look at myself and I don’t like who I am
I feel like the life I’m living is nothing but a scam
I love to help others, my words to them seem so nice
But I wish that I could start taking my own advice
I know what I should do, I just can’t seem to have them apply
The real question I constantly ask is why?
Why can’t I do it? Why can’t I succeed?
From these things I so badly want to be freed
They eat me inside and I wonder why I can’t apply my advice to my own life
Why can’t I escape this inner pain and strife?
I don’t get it, what am I doing wrong?
I’m done trying to admit that I can handle this and that I’m strong
Lord I’m begging you to come set me free
 I want to become all you created me to be
I want to follow your will and stick to your plan
I want to be a true follower, not just a fan
I’m done trying to do this myself, I know it will never work
I bet when you see my try, you just can’t help but to smirk
You know the only way to victory is solely through you
Now please guide my heart and show me what to do
I know that without you I will do nothing but fail
Please show me your way so it’s not just another fairytale
I know you’re there, but I’m blind and cannot see
I have to remember that you’re always here with me
So Lord I give up my life, I lift it up to you
Please change my heart and make me brand new
I know things will take time, I won’t be instantly changed
But please take my heart and have its motives rearranged
I want to focus on you and have you be at the center
I’m opening the door to my life, please will you enter
I know this battle may seem like a marathon
So please help me always choose you to lean on
So I’m ready to change and die to my own self
I have to make this decision, I just can’t put in on the shelf
Lord help me follow you no matter the cost
Because without you, I’m nothing but lost
Now I’m not alone in fighting this way
I have you on my side and you will always win cause your power is so much more
Now through you alone I can fight my inner sin
With you on my side, there’s no way we can’t win