In Your Attic

Written by: Heather Ober

*To the tune of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen

I've heard there is a secret floor
That's locked behind your attic door.
But you don't really want to show me, do you?
You keep her there,
A ghost, a fiend -
An angry beast that taunts unseen. 
The crazy wife who wants to burn your house down.

You have Bertha in your attic
You have Bertha in your attic

My love was strong, so I needed proof
That she was jailed beneath your roof.
She showed up in the moonlight to betray you.
She lit the flames, she left you there
To choke on smoke and fight the flare.
The crazy wife who tried to burn your house down.

You have Bertha in your attic
You have Bertha in your attic

Edward, I've been hurt before.
I've been condemned, I've been ignored.
I used to feel alone before I knew you.  
I've seen her face through the attic door.
I've heard her wails through the attic floor.
The crazy wife who tried to burn your house down.

You have Bertha in your attic
You have Bertha in your attic

There was a time when you let me know
The truth about your scheming show.
But now you wish you'd never told me, don't you?
And remember when she stalked my room
Searching for her cheating groom?
The crazy wife who tried to burn your house down.

You have Bertha in your attic
You have Bertha in your attic
You have Bertha in your attic
You have Bertha in your attic

*Based (lovingly and jokingly) on the story of "Jane Eyre" by Charlotte Brontë