SLEEP WHAT SLEEP

Written by: Tichaona Ngatiane

The rooster crows Heralding a new dawn Yet sleep is beyond me That basic human need has deserted me Leaving me in a whirlwind of thoughts Contemplating, scheming For what else can I do? Reminiscing, remembering What else is there for me? Musing, pondering How else can I survive? When all that I ever wanted, All that I ever dreamt of Vaporized into a noxious smoke When all that ever contented me Is gone in a puff of smoke When mine nights are restless And the nightmares keep me up Where then can I get more dreams? How then can I ever hope? When I am this close to my demise When mine existence is all but useless How can I ever sleep? Without the hope of ever Holding her in my arms How can I ever dream? When the anticipation has grown cold And my future looks bleak. Why then should I sleep? When the dreams turn to nightmares How can I ever sleep? Without the hope of ever seeing her smile again Without her, Who sang me lullabies with that soporific voice Can I ever sleep? Without the hope of dreaming of her Tell me, What is love really? Memories? Recriminations and regrets? Pain? That agonizing pain? Would that I had known, Would I ever have loved? Would I ever have dreamt? Would I ever have hoped? Mine pneuma is vexed The questions never end The answers are never found And sleep is still beyond me My eyes in the darkness, Open to a beautiful vision A vision of my persecutor She whose heart I broke, She whose pain I authored The girl who I love so much She whose memory gives me no respite She whose departure has stolen my sleep, The only one who can exorcize my ghosts And bring back sanity to my heart Guess I have to live with the pain Till eternity and beyond! Guess I have to cohabit with my memories Till the very end of time Guess I have to live with the hallucinations Till she finds it in her heart to forgive me And to love me as I always will Guess I have to put up with the sleeplessness Till the emotion subsides IF IT EVER WILL! Then I will sleep!