I Do or Do I

Written by: Mandy Tams The Golden Girl

We went to a Chinese restaurant, but couldn’t get a seat
The waiter found us a table, and said we were in for a treat.
A wedding party was booked, he said, we would join them
We decided to say  yes, sat down and waited and then…

The waiters rushed out, the bride arrived, resplendent in a gown of white
A creation that was gorgeous, her tattooed shoulders caught the light
No groom was there by her side, just a pageboy and three bridesmaids
The page a little boy of five suddenly on his way he got waylaid…

A tank of fish by the door, amused the bored little boy
Especially when he threw his car in, it was his ‘must behave toy.’
The best man arrived; he saw the bride, he whispered in her studded ear
She banged the table with her fist, there was no doubt we all could hear.,,

"The ‘bast*** I am sick of him, and you are the one to blame
You should have stopped him getting drunk, god why did I take his name?
Get the kids off the floor, get that car out of the tank of fish?
When their father gets here, get them to bring the Chop Suey wedding dish…"

The groom arrived looking abashed, his tie slung over his shoulder
“Get these bloody kids controlled or they’ll not get very much older.”
The bride jumped up and raised her dress, not only her garter did we see
She raised her dainty black jack boot, and kicked him in the knee…

"They are your bloody kids you know, and if you don’t control them soon 
I’m telling you right now- we are not going on our honeymoon."
By this time all of us began to thank, the waiters for finding us a seat
They had not been wrong when they told us, we were in for a wonderful treat...


A True Story 
© ~GG~ 20/11/2012