Safety Pin Security

Written by: Sharon Rose Piwang

safety pins are my new friends. they leave no blood traces
only scars
and i run my hands over the rough ridges
counting the moments before the last amen
in the prayers i can't seem to pray for myself any longer

because prayer takes belief

how did i get so old without the God i have always known to be true

just now pain is beauty. i can already feel your alarm as you read
these letters to my madness
and wonder if my madness is catching

this is why safety pins are my new friends

don't be my friend
don't be my love
don't be my salvation. 

give me more safety pins

another stroke, another line
another welt, another scar

i am too afraid to tell my mother what happens behind my door
with safety pins 
but i wish i was stronger. i want her to stop me
i don't want anyone to ever know

i run my hands over these rough ridges and count the moments before the last amen