In My Mind You Never Fade
Like an old photograph with wrinkled edges
my mind returns to the times that are etched,
So vividly they flash through my mind's screen,
times that I cherish when our love set us free.
I wish so much the bad words I could take and throw away,
for every second that we have we should be so amazed.
our love is a gift we were given to hold tight,
I am sorry when I've made things worse and chosen to fight.
This photograph of us deserves my care,
In my mind I feel you are aware.
I have no excuse for tears and pain,
I felt it too is all that I can say.
It seems a joke on us at times to steal the sweet embrace
the kisses and the glances that haunt me every day.
Why can't I tell you what losing you did to me
It only seems to make you feel not worthy.
But please know I realize how I let you slip,
through my fingers with my jealous trips.
I could kick myself and believe me I have so much,
Do you know the pain of realizing I lost true love?
Maybe this is what you don't see,
you think I blame you and you only,
No I don't it's just it was a shock for me.
I cried and cried for hours, days and weeks.
I cannot lie to you my love my heart and soul,
the day you disappeared carved a place that won't let go.
But it is not your fault you had the right to leave,
I needed to wake up and see my life and faults before me.
It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt,
I may never get relief from the scars that lurk.
I don't blame you not at all please understand
I hate myself for letting passion make me mad.
I hurt from self inflicted wounds that stare me down.
I put them there and still my peace just can't be found.
My mind it plays that screen and looks at that photo
I stare and stare but I can't make my foolish actions not show.
So you see it isn't your fault at all,
you handled it like you knew to have resolve,
of course I throw the blame at times when my heart bleeds
the stains are those that I flung so wild and free.
I cannot tell you what the pain is like,
to know you had the one and only in your life.
I play the moment that will never stop in my mind.
the day I lost your love is stuck on rewind.
I hear the ghostly words you did this to yourself,
they've played so many times the words now even yell.
I cannot escape them because I know what price was paid.
My mind, my soul, my heart, my lips will never be the same.
The day our love got tossed and thrown so foolishly away.