Remember

Written by: Allison Ballard

On the seventeenth floor
I spend too many days 
Staring into my hands as though
They might reveal something…

As though looking
Will cause all the things
That were once there 
To reveal themselves once more

My feet sketch the cracks in
My slatted floor length windows
As though they will, once again
Be covered with a glossy heel

As though they will be walking up the steps
Of a familiar dwelling
As though my toes will curl up
In the same soft sheets that 
They knew last spring

My eyes continue to blink
Hoping that once, they will open to
A different reality
That might see a familiar face
One that used to love me
That held me down softly
That stretched me out 
That opened my starving lungs
That knew and filled my heart 
So well.

But no…

my hands stay empty
 And my feet stay cold
My eyes remain open
And this place swallows me whole

I’m missing you like yesterday