no walkies for me

Written by: Seren Roberts

With a crouch and a jump and I miss it
Why can’t I get it myself
Why can’t I get the biscuit
My mistress leaves on the shelf

Normally I wouldn’t steal anything
But not a happy girl am I
She has gone out and left me
Didn’t even say goodbye.

Normally a tap on the head and that biscuit
Comes my way when she’s going  out
I give her my paw to say thank you
This pleases her I have no doubt

She thinks I am a well-trained boxer
Well I am when I want to be
Other times I think, shall I, shan’t I 
When she says outside for a wee

Oh, I hear the key in the door now
Shall I sit here and pretend I haven’t tried
To get myself a biscuit
But the debris might prove that I lied

There is flour on the floor
And on me now,  rice all over the place
Will she be cross I wonder
Should I hide without a trace

So I slink away to my bed now
Pretending that I am asleep
‘Til the screams of horror awoke me
What she called me would earn a bleep

Bad girl was one that she uses
Flowered up to make it sound bad
Think walkies is out of the picture
Now I am feeling sad

What a day I am having
No biscuits or walkies for me
She had better hurry up and let me out
Cos now  I really must p ee.