First Love

Written by: Kelly McDonald

You say, you say
But what do you do?
It’s always wanting more with you

How many hours wasted waiting?
Desperately needing...anticipating
Drawn out desperate un-returned calls
Echoes of reason, only faint footfalls

Still I wait and long for you
Because I love…..I’m hopelessly true
I picture you elsewhere, not alone
Blatantly ignoring the ringing phone

You’ll be here tomorrow, dripping sincerity
While I cry silently, developing clarity
I know this game…all too well
You’ll have another story to tell

And I will listen…take it all in
For I can’t bear to lose you, or let her win
So I pretend, accept, and forgive
If only to gain one more day to live

Because I love, I give you my heart
Even though you have been careless from the start
Intentional victim, I pity myself
While you court her with practiced stealth

My first love…you will always be
Impossibly perfect, if only to me
So I forgive you and delay the inevitable
My devotion to you is truly incredible

Now, looking back…I see you at last
For all that you lacked and all that you asked
How carelessly you held my heart in your hands
But I’ve taken it back, less a few strands

Thank you for the lessons; for teaching me
That love does not come easily
For all of your injuries and slights have been measured
And in the end, despite the pain…within my own heart, 
I’ve found abundant treasure