To The One I Loved

Written by: Constance Gilmore

I want to thank you for being a complete ass
I learned so much from you as if I were in class
You were the teacher of life’s many lessons
As your pupil, I took them as disguised blessings
I had experienced things I’d never been through
Now I’m a master and I’m here to say thank you

Thank you for lying to me about your marriage
From the very beginning you were burning that bridge
I never thought I would deal with a married man
But apparently, that was just a part of your plan
Tired of what was at home, you preyed on me
Naïve and green at the age of twenty-three

Thank you so much for punching me in my face
I’m guessing I needed to be put in my place?
From the very first hit, my eyes started to open
But love decided to keep me prisoner back then
The hair pulling, face spitting, and yes, the neck choking
Were all because it was you I was “provoking”

Thank you for hurting me with your spiteful words
Guess you thought my love was for the birds
I was a *****, I was ugly, I was uppity, I was fat
An annoying sore you couldn’t help but pick at
Powerless in your world, you tried controlling mine
So your verbal abuse was used to keep me in line

Thank you for abandoning me in my time of need
Leaving me alone to deal with my pregnancy
Times I was sick, I had no one to console me
You left me alone so that you didn’t have to hold me
I gave birth in the presence of your absence
While you secretly laughed at my heart’s expense

Thank you for teaching me all about relationships
That sense shouldn’t be dimmed by love’s eclipse
Before I get too deep, I should know his intentions
And that I could avoid hurt if I just pay attention
I am of worth and I shouldn’t be disrespected
I deserve love and I shouldn’t be neglected

My heart is of gold and should be protected
Reciprocation of love should be expected
My heart should not be force fed suspicion
So my trust should be earned, not easily given
To the one I won’t name, I want to say thank you
For all the *****that you have put me through.